


If I Could Fly

by Octoberrose11



Series: Mob au (love you goodbye) [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Aromantic Liam, Asexual Niall, BDSM, Dom Liam, Dom Zayn, Fake Character Death, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I SWEAR IM NOT TO BLAME FOR BABY GATE, Kid Fic, M/M, Major Violence, Meet the Family, Minor Character Death, Plot Twist, Spanking, Sub Liam, Sub Louis, Vibrator, Weed, buuuuuuut, fire cw, i knew i had forgotten a tag, i lost the plot to these tags somewhere, idek, it has a happy ending, proposal, shot gunning, they're still in the band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:43:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octoberrose11/pseuds/Octoberrose11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i></i><br/>He’s always been a little in love with Zayn is the thing. Even before they’d been put together as a band he had been half in awe of him, partly because of his beauty but mostly because of how his presence could fill a whole room. Louis knew how to fill a room, took pride in it in fact but Zayn. Zayn was different. He could do it without saying a word, without even trying. </p><p>  <i>	The Zayn from bootcamp and the Zayn from now are two different people, Louis muses blowing smoke out of his lungs. Bootcamp Zayn was quiet and withdrawn, stoic. This Zayn is a giggly high mess. Louis loved both of them but he really loved it when Zayn let go and just let himself be which didn’t happen often enough, in his opinion.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>	“Hey Zayn, come kiss me bro.”</i></p><p>The mob au no one wanted but I wrote anyways rip</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Could Fly

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, okay I can do this. This is just the biggest fic I've ever written and I've poured my heart into. 
> 
> People to thank:
> 
> [Cass](http://badjujuboo.livejournal.com/) For filling in last minute and making incredible cover art! See below and on tumblr for more details! 
> 
> [K](http://hazzaloveslouslittlethings.tumblr.com/). For reading the very first scene I wrote of this fic back in August and saying hey, that's not my usual pairing but I'm interested to see where it goes. You really are a god send. You didn't let me pout over my smut, told me to keep at it and encourage me to write every day. This might not have seen the light of day without you.
> 
> [Kim](http://zouislirry.tumblr.com/). This is where I get all emotional and cry for like ten years. About this time last year I met Kim and we bonded over Riker Lynch. I yelled in her ask box for like two weeks and she followed me back and I literally cried because she was the first real friend I had in the one direction fandom close to my age. We sent random cute thoughts back and forth and then when Zayn left we cried in each others ask box for like two months straight. She's also the reason I started writing One Direction fic (encouraging me to do the Zouis fic exchange with her and I've been in hell since then). Kim has listened to me cry about this fic since I started it, read it and rocked it while it was a baby, kicked me in the balls when I wanted to throw in the towel, let me rant about the FBI watching me from now on, laughed at me during NaNoWriMo when I went 48 hours without sleep working on this. Kim read almost the whole fic in one sitting and told me to get back to work. She's the real MVP. Without her this fic would just be a bunch of random thoughts and pictures on my tumblr.
> 
> [Skylar Link](http://skelebrofriends.tumblr.com/) Link is my heart song. He read the whole thing more then once, probably knows it better then I do, has listened to me scream about it about 3AM on iMessage when I should be asleep but the plot kept coming anyways. I loved torturing him with this fic more then I did myself. (He probably saw the plot twists before I did)
> 
> [Miranda](http://justhannibalinthekitchen.tumblr.com/) When I met her in person I never thought I'd end up sending her 35k Zouis fic but fuck I did it. She read it. She told me she loved it. And she told me how to improve it. She and my #Twittersquad have listened to me cry about this fic and marriage for months now. I'm suprised she hasn't blocked me on every social media site. 
> 
> [Shelby](http://louistumlinson.tumblr.com/) For reading the dom!Liam part and making me feel good about it after struggling with being sex repulsed. You rock!
> 
> Also to my three GCs: Zouis hoes, Hobama is real and the AIMH one, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for listening to me cry about this fic for the past four months. I couldn't have done it without you guys.

 

Part one: Dusk

Tiny coffins always weighed the most, Louis mused as he carried Emila down to the grave side, her light weight a comfort against him. She kicks her feet a little as he walks and he oophs, putting a hand down to still them. 

Being the mob boss was hard and never in a million years had he meant to drag the other four boys in with him yet here he was at a funeral of a dear friend. Andrea had only been four, much too young to die the way she did. He shudders, thinking about the state they had found her in. 

It had been a long six months of negotiation and death on both ends. Along with Andrea they had lost seventeen other men, a couple of girlfriends and a ten year old named Xavier. Last he heard those who had kidnapped Andrea had lost their head boss, his second and several other high up commanders as well. Niall had heard through the grape vine that they’re scrambling and turning on each other left and right, that the police had more then enough evidence to take the whole lot of them in. Though they hadn’t lost any children he silently counted it as a victory, though he privately would always grief for the bright little girl who used to make him smile. 

Emila whimpers in his arms, shivering from the cold London air. She’s in a black dress and white knee high wooly socks and a thick jacket but even that isn’t enough to keep anyone warm. He tries to wrap his winter coat around her too, knowing it won’t do any good.

“Sh, sh sweetheart. I’ll have you to mommy soon.” He soothes, running a hand down her tiny spine. Not a large man himself he finds himself in awe at how big it is compared to her back. “Precious little baby Em.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“Lou. Lou.” She whimpers, clinging tighter to him. 

He sighs, pressing another kiss to her nearly frozen forehead. At a year and a half she’s way too young to understand anything, still asking for her sister. Louis pities her parents but even still he’s the leader of all of them, he has a duty here as both their leader and as a godfather. “I’m here baby girl,” he promises. “Lou’s not going anywhere anytime soon, anytime ever.”

She grins up at him, still a little gummy from where she’s missing some teeth and he smiles back at her, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. She still smells like baby, like innocence and Louis wishes she could hold onto it for as long as possible but he knows with a life like the kind they live it won’t happen. He knows eventually she’ll see something she shouldn’t have, or overhear something she’s not supposed to and she’ll have the choice: join the mob, or leave. (God, he holds her tighter, he hopes none of the children ever have to make that decision.) He remembers when he learned the life his mom lived, he remembers the choice she offered him, and he remembers the indecision he faced and here, thinking back on it, he wouldn’t wish it on anyone. 

He nods at Liam, as he walks past, who is holding Zayn close to his side. Zayn had taken Andrea dying hardest out of all of them after Louis. Zayn has been quiet and withdrawn for days. He’d been the one tasked with retrieving Andrea and he feels it a personal loss that he couldn’t get to her in time. Zayn’s always been stoic, a little quieter then the rest of the boys, except when he’s around the band. Louis has a feeling this loss is going to take them back a few years. He looks untidy in a way he never is, almost dead, his eyes bright red even though his gaze is unseeing.

Liam nods back letting Louis know that yeah, they’re still on for later that afternoon. He had cornered Louis before the service to let him know that he needed to speak to him. Louis was not looking foreword to that conversation. Liam’s the only one who’s acting relatively normal in all this mess. He’s like the light at the end of the tunnel for all of them, holding them strong. He’s let Zayn fall apart on him and Niall scream and throw things and he’s been there to make Harry laugh....

He walks past Niall, who’s leaning hard on his cane. He’s having a hard time walking even after his knee surgery and Louis knows his last assignment fucked him up more then he’d like to admit. He’s been using his canes more and more lately when he can get away with it, always off stage and always away from the eyes of cameras, but it still worries him. He makes a mental note to send him to a doctor as soon as he can.

Harry’s standing next to him, improperly dressed for a funeral with his nipples hanging out for all to see and a cowboy hat on his head and glittery gold boots on his feet, aiming for casual but anyone with eyes can tell how hard he’s watching Niall, how he’s having to hold himself back from supporting him when he sways a little. Louis smirks a little to himself, shifting Emilia on his hip, holding her tighter, before making a bet with himself. He gives them three months before they’re together. 

When he had tried out for the X Factor four years before Louis hadn’t expected much. He was the son of a crime lord and the police just needed one more piece of evidence to arrest the whole family, excluding his little sisters. Simon knew who he was, he knew he did just from the look on his face. If the other judges did they had made no outward acknowledgement which suprised Louis, the name Tomlinson wasn’t that common. The no at bootcamp honestly hadn’t suprised him (the fact that he got through to bootcamp at all suprised the hell out him though). Then he got put in a band and they made it through to the top three. And then they started selling records. And got famous. Like really famous. He finally had to come clean. Like in the end he really had no choice in the matter.

He got shot while home on break. 

It wasn’t a nice conversation. To be fair it wasn’t pretty in more ways then one with Louis having a bullet hole in his side. The boys came into his hospital room screaming and he had to explain everything, his mom an angry presence in the shadows. She never wanted the boys to find out, he knew. She never wanted him to agree to join the band but he had been eighteen and hadn’t required her signature and.... In the end explaining everything took less time then he thought it would.

How his dad, well his step dad, was a mob boss and his mom had taken over with the divorce. Mark had decided to leave peacefully so he could be there for the girls but he had so many mob ties it wasn’t almost impossible for him to leave entirely. How he’d seen people killed for money, and yes he’d killed a fair few himself. That yes he was to take over the empire one day in the far, far future unless he created his own. That, with all his money, he was thinking about creating his empire sooner rather then later and no, that didn’t mean he was leaving the band. 

The boys became distant for a while. Louis tried not to take it personally but in a band that practically screamed gay it was hard and he knew the whole world noticed. It because the four against the one and news articles and papers had a field day speculating about him leaving. Management, who didn’t know anything outside of the band, rode his ass hard and made him sign new contracts. He never told the other boys. Just like he never told them he had to sign an agreement to stay away from Harry or that management got almost full control of his twitter. He didn’t tell them that one day soon he was going to have a pregnancy rumor. He didn’t tell them that when they got to go home during breaks he was usually too busy with singing practice or writing new songs and that he hadn’t seen his little sisters in a little over a year. No use crying over spilled milk after all. 

It took them four months to warm up to him again. Slight touches while being interviewed. Hugs that lasted longer then a second. Liam tackling him when he was being a little shit. Niall sitting in his lap when the rest of the seats had been claimed. Harry holding his hand as they walked back to the bus after concerts. Zayn pressing into his hand when he offered him a cigarette or a lighter with a hand on his shoulder. They stopped shutting him out when they cuddled on the bus. He felt like he was home again. He felt like he was no longer drowning. 

Zayn was the first one to approach him. He didn’t want his partner in crime being out there alone, he said. Louis tried to argue with him, initiation wasn’t pleasant and there was a lot of Christian elements involved but he stood firm and Louis had to finally do as he wished. Liam followed soon after, curious but cautious, wanting to stand by his boys, on some level still that lonely sixteen year old boy who no one showed to his birthday. Harry and Niall came together, hesitant, but determined to stand with Louis too. 

It was hard on all of them. They all had to be pricked so that the nine of them (the band included) could become real blood. They all had to be baptized again (for Zayn, for the first time even though Louis fought tooth and nail to prevent it from happening.) When Niall asked why they had to be baptized again Louis shrugged and vaguely answered something about new beginnings and they all seemed to accept it. They got drunk on wine and set fire to the painting of the saint when their blood had finally soaked through.

When Louis created his empire with his twenty three million dollars under his belt (His mom and he argued but eventually she agreed Lottie was the best choice to take her place) he makes Zayn is his second, he always has Louis back on stage and off it. Liam, who fools people with his sweet puppy face, is put in charge of the guns and secret missions. No one crosses him and lives. Niall quickly charms everyone with his smile and starts a small spy ring within other mafias, hacking into their computer systems and leaving no trace that he was there. Harry, ever the smooth talker, keeps them out of trouble about ninety percent of the time. Harry... is still Harry even with the Mafia ties. 

He laid down only a few rules as Mob boss, and everyone seems to think he’s fair. "Be loyal to members of the organization. Do not interfere with each other’s interest. Do not be an informer. Be rational. Be a member of the team. Don’t engage in battle if you can’t win. The directive extends to personal life. Be a man of honor. Respect womanhood and your elders. Don’t rock the boat. Be a stand up guy. Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut. Don’t sell out. The ‘stand up guy’ shows courage and ‘heart.’ He does not whine or complain in the face of adversity, including punishment, because ‘If you can’t pay, don’t play.’ Have class. Be independent. Know your way around the world.”

For the most part the rules have been followed and his empire has slowly been growing to include others in their inner circle of crew. Which should make Louis happy, it really should. The bigger the family the stronger the family, his Nan had always said. And for the most part it’s true, really. The more people they let in on the secret, the riskier it is that someone will sell them out but the greater the chance or them surviving the end of this stupid war is too. 

But lately the stress of it has been getting to Louis, like it always does. And even though he deeply loves Zayn (not that he’d ever tell him) and even though he loves being in charge sometimes he needs someone to put him in place. In the past that meant pushing Liam until he pushed back but now.... He shudders, shushing Emilia when she whines in his arms. He needs to change his thought pattern before he has to adjust his pants. 

Approaching the gathered family he clears his throat, suddenly feeling nervous. He’s in charge of everyone here just about but this family holds a special place in his heart. He’d been the one to introduce them, after all, all those years ago, had been named godfather to Emilia. 

They turn to nod at him respectfully and he nods back and most of them go back to their own conversations. Only one woman steps towards him, looking like she has the whole world on her shoulder. He desperately wants to pull her into a hug and promise her it will be okay. 

“Thank you so much Louis.” Justine, Emilia’s mom whispers, taking her =daughter’s weight. She’s married to Josh, their drummer, another innocent he accidentally claimed into the mob life. “I don’t.” She swallows back a sob. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had to keep track of her and....” She trails off, blinking back tears from her already red eyes. 

Louis shrugs. “She’s a sweetheart, Justine. I’m willing to take her whenever. And.” He does his best to blink back tears, knowing better to show weakness, even to those who care about him. “And I’m sorry about Andy. She was a sweet girl. We did everything we could to save her and I’m sorry it didn’t work.”

She nods, taking a gasping breath. “We know you did, Lou. I don’t think any of us could argue otherwise and if someone even tried to I’d kill them where they stood.” She said, an angry look in her eye. “I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why my baby died but I don’t want you blaming yourself, Lou.” Bouncing Emilia on her hip she takes a moment to think about what she’s going to say. “Josh and I know you did everything you could. If... if we hadn’t been so careless with her.... If we hadn’t been so careless with her maybe she’d still be here.” She said with a sad smile and a shrug. “Well at any rate it wasn’t your fault. None of your faults. Tell Zayn to stop looking like a kicked puppy.” With a wet laugh she pulled him into a hug. “You’re a good man Louis Tomlinson. We all love you so much.”

Biting his lip he nods before excusing himself, not wanting to get into an argument on where blame need to be placed. He nods at his mom and sisters, who are standing a little ways away from the family and from everyone connected to One Direction, connected to their mob, not really in the mood to talk. Jay nods back and holds her phone up, letting him know she’ll contact him later. (Selfishly he hopes it’s much, much later but his mom has a bad habit of interrupting him when he least wants or needs her to.)

Lottie, his oldest younger sister tries to corner him as he walks past but he shrugs her off, really not in the mood. Honestly he doesn’t care about her boy problems or how hard mom is being on her in training or that the twins stole her make up or shoes or what ever else she’s going to complain about. He just lost an innocent under his protection. No, he wants to yell, she can’t join them on tour, she won’t join the family. His whole family, his real family and not the one given to him at birth, is grieving. Lottie can wait. 

He needs Liam. He needs Liam now. 

Pushing his sunglasses down his face he slides into the limo and nods at Alberto who slides in behind him. “Take me home, please.” He knows he sounds tired, older then his twenty two years because he feels it. He can feel it in his bones, and in his heart, the parts of it he didn’t leave in the grave with the little girl he loved.

Alberto clears his throat. “Are we expecting Mr. Payne later, Louis?”

Louis nods with his eyes still closed, a stress headache building. “Yes, Alberto. Liam will be arriving as soon as he gets Zayn home to his sister. Until then I need vodka, as strong as you can make it.”

“You got it, sir.” 

That said they manage the rest of the ride in silence, Louis almost dosing but too uncomfortable in his suit to do so. The car is soothing though. With the worry of car bombs being so low anymore he allows himself to let his guard down. He knows Alberto will do his best to protect him from anything and that the driver is driving in pointless circles to confuse anyone who might be following them. 

He allows himself to smile. In this moment, with his body guard beside him, his best friend on his way to see him, he’s content. 

*****************

“Louis?” Alberto hesitantly knocks on his bedroom door, unsure if he’s asleep or not. He’d rather not wake Louis up and face his wrath, thank you very much. The only one to wake him up in the morning and survive are Zayn and Niall, to be fair. 

“Come in Alberto, I’m awake.” He doesn’t add the unfortunately that is on his tongue, as much as he’d like to. He’s been awake and staring at his celling since he got home from the funeral, occasionally dosing but never enough to be fully rested. 

“Payne is here to see you. Should I send him in?” Alberto leans against the door, adverting his eyes from Louis’ half naked body. 

“No, no I’ll come down and meet him. We have plenty to talk about I’m sure.” He shuffles to pull on some sweat pants, knowing they’ll be removed quickly when he and Liam are alone. 

Alberto just shrugs. “I’ll let him know you’re on your way down then.” 

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his hair. He wishes he could have slept longer, or at all really. He knows he needs this session with Liam but he’d really rather sleep a million years and ignore all of his problems. He also knows that isn’t an option, that if he isn’t down stairs in about two minutes Liam will come looking for him. 

With that in mind he drags his ass down the stairs, sighing when he sees Alberto, Liam and Paddy (Liam’s personal body guard) standing together. All of them freeze when they see him, before jumping apart letting him know that he was most likely being gossiped about. Anyone but the three of them and he’d have them punished but at this point he just doesn’t care. 

“Liam.” He nods his head at him. “Why don’t you join me in my office?”

Liam smiles at him, though it looks a little strained, shaking Alberto’s hand. “Why don’t you go ahead and go, Al, Paddy? I’m gonna be with him tonight and I’ll make sure nothing happens.”

Alberto looks between them and Louis knows what he’s thinking, that he and Liam are a couple and he wants to deny it but. But letting Alberto think they’re a couple is easier then explaining what’s really going on. 

(He’d really like no one to ever know what he and Liam get up to, especially Alberto. But he’d be devastated if Zayn learned. He knows Zayn’s crush on Liam is gone but still it’d be awkward especially with his own feelings for Zayn and then having to explain how it’s not a real relationship and that Liam is one hundred and ten percent aromantic and wouldn’t that be a fun conversation to have. Then adding in the things he gets into with Liam yeah, he’d much rather Zayn and the rest of the boys never find out what they get up to when they’re alone.)

“Go ahead, Al. Liam can handle me for one night.” He ignores the snort Liam lets out and clasps his body guard’s shoulder. “Though if it makes you feel better you can stay in the guest house out back? You too, Paddy.”

Alberto nods. “I’ll do that. You two,” He gestures between them, “don’t open the door without calling me first, understood? Even if you know them. Even if it’s one of the other boys. You get me or Patrick.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Yes, dad, now go. Liam and I have important business to attend to.” 

Alberto slings an arm around Paddy’s shoulder. “I bet I can beat you at poker.”

“You are on old man.” 

Their argument carries on, then fades away as they walk out the door and suddenly Louis is nervous. More nervous then the first time they did this. He knows he’s about to be punished, not for not saving Andrea but because he let himself get as wound up as he did. They have a system and when he’s over a five he’s supposed to call. He’s been at a nine for days and well... Liam finally lost patience. 

They stand in silence for a while, just staring at each other. Liam’s gaze is kind, but hard. Louis tries to avoid meeting his eyes but it’s hard, both as a mob boss and a trained sub. Both instincts are fighting within him and he finds himself on the verge of submitting and fighting when he snaps and brings his eyes to Liam’s. 

Finally Liam breaks the silence."Did you call me?"

"No."

"Why didn't you?"

“I thought I could handle it myself. I was handling it myself, Li. Then everything went to shit.” He gestures to everything around him, leaving the impression he means his life, his current situation or even their relationship.

Liam laughs, and it sounds bitter. “Yeah and we all see how well that worked out for you. Go. Don’t make me ask twice.” He’s suddenly no longer Liam but now he’s Liam the dom and Louis knows he means business. 

Louis high tails it to his office, technically his second office that only he and Liam know about. He’s already stripping as he goes, on his knees before he knows what he’s doing, his hands crossed behind his back so he’s not tempted to touch himself. He waits, patiently, because that’s what he’s supposed to do. Right now there’s nothing but him and Liam and he just has to wait for Liam to take care of him. 

When Liam enters the room he looks pleased. “Good boy, Lou. See you can be good when you want to be.” Walking over to their chest he opens it, pulling out the collar and cock ring they use when they play. “I don’t know if you’ve earned this but we’re gonna use it anyway.”

Louis eagerly nods, bearing his neck for Liam as he fastens it. “Thank you, Li.” He whispers, shyly looking down. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner.”

Liam tugs on his hair, forcing him to look at him. “It’s all forgiven, Louis. But you know I have to punish you, don’t you?”

“Yes, Li.”

“Good boy. Up. Let me put this on you then across the table.”

Louis struggles to his feet shyly presenting his cock for the ring, wincing as it’s placed on him before walking over to the desk that’s in the room, in case someone should ever come across it. Pressing his upper body against it he turns his head to look at the window, his ass pressed back as far as he can get it. It’s a little uncomfortable but he knows he’ll get used to it as they get into it. 

Even though he knows Liam is coming he still flinches when he feels him brush against his leg. 

“You’re okay, Lou. Wound a little tight though, aren’t you?” He laughs a little, running his hands up and down’s his back. Louis arches up into his hands, his own body betraying him. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He admits, biting his lip. It’s easier in this position, where he doesn’t have to be anything but Liam’s Lou. 

“I do, love. You didn’t call me.” He smacks down a hand as hard as he can and it echos in the room. “You promised me you would and yet you didn’t so you feel guilty.” He smacks his hand down again. “You feel guilty because you couldn’t save Andrea.”

Louis whines, closing his eyes and pressing his head against the table top. “I feel bad that we lost all of them Li, but Andy was special.”

“She was your favorite, we all know it, Lou, and it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to miss her.” He smacks his hand down a dozen more times. “It’s not okay to not call me when you start feeling rough. It’s not okay to ignore your own needs to take care of everyone else.” He smacks his hand down again. “Am I getting through to you or do I need to get the hairbrush?”

Louis stays quiet, his breathing calm even though inside he’s anything but. He knows he’s bad at taking care of himself, he knows he puts everyone else first but that’s part of being the oldest of seven kids, he supposed. His mom and dad had been so busy when he was growing up that it was second nature to see something that needed to be done and to do it. He was a mother hen, even though he was a mob boss, and everyone knew it. People interviewing them always joked that Liam was daddy direction but Louis was big brother direction and no one crossed him and hurt his boys. 

So far into his inner musings that when Liam dropped the brush down in the first spank he let out an undignified squawk. “Fuck Li! You didn’t have to get the brush!”

Liam brought it down again, and again and again. “I asked you, Louis. I asked you if I needed to get the brush and you didn’t reply so I took it as a yes. Now be a good boy and let me take care of you, unless you need to color out?”

“No. No, Liam, I’m good.”

“Good boy.” Liam rubs a hand on his back. “Remember you can safe word at any point and we’ll stop, okay? We’ll stop and discuss and do something different if we have to. You don’t get to decide your punishment, I do. I’m in charge here.”

“Yes, Liam.” He nodded, his hands flexing before clasping the table edge tightly. 

Liam brought the hair brush down a dozen times before dropping it on the table, rubbing his hands on Louis’ stinging ass. “You’ve done so good, Lou.”

“Thank you, Liam.” 

“You can sit up now, babe.” Liam gently helps him up and brushes his hair off his forehead. “You did such a good job, love, took your punishment so well. We’re gonna go cuddle now, doesn’t that sound good?”

Louis nods, allowing Liam to pick him up and carry him to his room where he lays him down gently on the bed. “I’m just gonna get you some lotion, okay love? Rub some lotion into your sore ass then I’ll be your big spoon okay?” 

“Yes, Liam.” 

He allows Liam to turn him over and rub lotion on him without protest, even though he shudders a little when the cold substance makes contact with his hot skin. He’s finally, mostly, reached the floatly peaceful state that he’s been searching for for days. His mind is quiet and the only thing that matters is existing, breathing in and out. 

When Liam lays down beside him and pulls him so he’s the little spoon, half on top of him, he lets out a little hum of delight and allows his eyes to slide close. 

“That’s a good boy, Lou. You can sleep now.” 

*******

When he wakes up Liam’s not there which surprises him a little. When they play, or when Liam punishes him, he usually does his best to make sure he’s close to Louis for the next twenty four hours in case he drops again. He shrugs, figuring it’s something Liam will tell him about when he’s ready and gets himself dressed before heading down to the kitchen, suddenly really hungry. 

Alberto is at the kitchen table though, reading a newspaper. He nods in greeting when Louis walks in. “Liam told you that he’s sorry he couldn’t stay, that something urgent came up with him mom and he had to go.” He holds up his hand when Louis opens his mouth to ask a question. “I don’t know what it was so don’t even bother asking.” He points over his shoulder at the counters. “He cooked you breakfast though.” He shakes his head. “That boy is going to have you spoiled, Louis. I hope you plan on keeping him.”

Louis sighs, his plate full of food as he sits down next to him. He has too much to do today to argue with his body guard so he just shovels his food in his mouth and ignores him. 

He opens his email on his iPad, left on the table for this very reason, and begins sorting them by One Direction, mafia, and other but important. One immediately catches his eye and his heart drops as he hurries to open it. He hopes it’s not what he thinks it is, but he knows there’s nothing else it can be. Anastasia wouldn’t have emailed him, risked everything, for any other reason.

Excusing himself he hurries back up the stairs, already on his phone. He has a lot to do and plan in the coming days. 

*************************

When his mom calls him a week later he isn’t impressed. There’s been total silence between them since the funeral (though he’s talked to the baby twins a couple of times, he can’t help how much of a big brother he really is). He’s in the middle of a Very Important Meeting, for once not about the band or the Mafia, and he can’t just leave it so he hits ignore, putting his phone back in his pocket. 

It immediately starts to buzz again. 

Smiling gently at the little girl across from him he turns his attention to the nanny. “I need to take this but I’ll be right back,” he promises, standing up and pressing a kiss to Elisaveta’s head. He makes his exit quickly, not wanting to yell in front of her. 

“Louis Tomlinson, this better be fucking important since I wasn’t supposed to be disturbed today.” Honestly he asks his secretary to screen his calls, to let everyone know they’re suppose to get a hold of Zayn instead of him for one day and they can’t even do that. Someone is about to be fired. 

“Louis William Tomlinson I know you didn’t just say fucking to your mother.”

“Mom.” He sighs, knocking his forehead against the wall. “I’m in a meeting and didn’t bother checking caller ID. What do you want? I don’t have all day to stand out here and play games with you.”

She sighs, “Always impatient you are. I don’t know where I went wrong with you.” She mumbles a cuss word under her breath, probably in Russian, before cheerfully announcing, “You’re getting married.” 

He laughs. “Seriously mom, what do you want?”

“I’m serious, Louis. You are marrying a lovely girl named Eleanor Calder. You know her, your father is friends with her mom.” She says friends like it’s a bad word. “She’s very sweet and can’t wait to see you again. You’ve known her since childhood, dear. Really good friends as kids then the whole X Factor thing happened.” She tisks, and he knows she’s rolling her eyes. “When her father approached Mark he jumped at the chance to join the two families together, isn’t that great?” 

He takes a moment to count to ten, then he does it again for good measure. Getting upset with his mom has never been easy, though moving out has certainly made it easier. 

“Mom. I’m gay. I’m very, very gay. I like to have dick up my ass, my dick up ass very much gay.” He says it slowly, hoping maybe this time it will stick in her head but he knows he won’t have much luck.

“That’s no problem dear, you’ll learn to love her I’m sure.”

With a sigh Louis pushed back the desire to moan. “Mom.” He held his breath for a moment, trying to think of something to say. “Mom, look. I hadn’t wanted to say anything since it’s new and everything but I’m already dating someone, someone really, really special. It’s super secret, you know? Since if it gets out he could be in big trouble and I don’t want to risk his life or anything.”

She’s quiet a moment. “Why didn’t you say anything, brat?” She sounds affectionate, and for a moment Louis lets himself believe they’re going to be okay. 

“I can’t, couldn’t, tell you mom. Blood oath and all.” 

She hums, and he’s sure she’s nodding her head in agreement. They both know more about blood oaths then either would care to ever mention. To break one would be like breaking the oath to his boys about not turning his back on them. He could be executed for breaking one, and she knows it.

“Look, mom, I was in an important meeting. Can I go back to it and get back to you later?” He asks, a little desperate. “And maybe you can tell everyone I won’t be marrying a girl anytime soon.”

She huffs. “I guess, love. You’re expected over for dinner soon, you and those boys of yours.”

“Sure mom. I love you.” He presses the end call button before she can say anything else, hitting his head against the wall. It sounded like a better idea in his head then it did in action, to be fair. “Fuck.” Louis allows himself a minute to freak out before pressing a smile to his face, and walks back into the room. “My darling Elisaveta, where were we?” He asks with a teasing smile, sitting down across from her again. 

She giggles at him before pushing a colored picture across to him and for a moment he lets his brain shut down, just looking at the picture in his hands. 

“Did you draw that for me, precious?”

She nods, suddenly shy. She peaks up at him from under thick eye lashes and his heart catches. It’s a picture of the two of them, he thinks, holding hands. It’s pretty good for an almost four year old. 

“You know I’m going to be your new daddy?” He asks her, putting the picture down beside him, careful to keep it from wrinkling. 

She bites her lip, but nods. “New daddy.” She mumbles under her breath.

“That’s right, Elisaveta, new daddy. You’ll be Catherine Elisaveta Tomlinson. You’ll live with me forever, or until you’re a big girl and decide to move out on your own.” He supposes that’s an idea that might be past her at this age but he wants to try to explain anyway. “I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

She drops her crayons to look at him, then gets up out of her chair to crawl into his lap. “Daddy.” She mumbles into his soft sweater. 

With a smile he runs his hand through her hair. “Yes, love, I’m your daddy.” He brushes her hair off her face. “Do you remember mama telling you about me?” 

She shakes her head, hands tightening on his shirt.

“Sh, sh love. It’s okay.” He bites his lip, shifting on the chair and pulling out his wallet. Opening it he pulls out a picture and offers it to her. “I’ve known you a very long time, I was best friends with your mommy. She had to go live far away though, 7especially when Daddy got put into a band.” 

He slowly explains One Direction and her four news Uncles and how excited they are that she’s come to live with them. He explains about his mom and his sisters, that she won’t be meeting them for a while until she gets used to everything. He tells her about Alberto and Paul, how they might look scary but they’re really not. 

When she begins fighting to stay awake he kisses her on the forehead and picks her up, walking to her new nursery and putting her in bed. He figures she can sleep in what she has on for now. 

He needs to call Liam. 

He needs to call Liam now. 

*******************************

He finds himself hanging from the ceilings by his wrists, totally at Liam’s mercy. This time he’d called before Liam came calling for him which was probably his only saving grace, he knew. This time wouldn’t be as much punishment as it would be release from the pressures he puts on himself.

“You remember your safe word, yes?”

“Yes Liam.”

“And they are?”

Louis sighs, shifting his weight. “Red, yellow and green. If I can’t speak you will give me something to hold in my hands to drop to grab your attention.”

“Good boy.” 

He switches the vibrator on and Louis twitches around it, already sensitive. He lets his body relax into it, trying to hold as still as he can knowing he won’t feel any relief until Liam decides he can. He bites his lip, trying to keep in his noises. He knows he won’t last long, but he’s going to do his best to please Liam. 

“Good boy, you’re doing so good for me, Lou.”

Louis grunts, his body straining. The nipple clamps on his nipples have weights on them and he’s already starting to ache. When the first crack of the whip comes Louis flies forward, not expecting it. “Sorry, sorry.” He whines, pushing back into place and bracing himself. “I’m sorry, I’m better now. I’m prepared.”

“You sure, Lou? What’s your color?”

“Green.” He says, after thinking for a moment. “Hazza’s eyes green.” 

Liam laughs softly, dropping the whip. “You already feeling floaty babe?”

“Yeah, feel good.” 

“That’s good babe.” Liam reaches down and pulls the vibrator out before thrusting it back in. “Think we should turn this up, huh?” He turns it up to the second highest setting, watching as Louis thrashes. “Feel good?”

“No! No, Liam stop it! It’s too much!”

Waiting a moment to see if he safe words, he smiles before he pulls it out then thrusts it up and at an angle, holding it against Louis’ prostate, watching his face as he starts to cry. With a flick of his fingers the cock ring also starts to vibrate. 

“I think I’m going to go and get some water, what say you, Lou?”

“F, fuck you Liam!” He sobs, shaking in his chains. 

“Tsk, tsk, that’s not being very good is it?”

Louis whines, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He does his best to get back into position and closes his eyes, hoping to trick himself into believing he was anywhere but his current position. Not that he’d be anywhere but where he was but he was so close to coming, cock ring be damn. 

“Now be a good boy, Lou. I’m going to go get a drink of water and when I come back I want you to have calmed down for me, understood?” Liam steps back behind him, out of Louis’ line of eye sight. 

“Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I’m sorry please.” He yelps when the vibrations turn up again, twisting his body back and forth, trying to get away from it. 

Liam laughs softly from where he’s in the corner drinking his water. He knows Louis can’t see him, facing the other wall, and he knows Louis needs this, needs to feel like he’s not in power for a little while, but he still feels bad. Sometimes in his weaker moments he feels like he’s hurting Louis more then he’s helping him but he doesn’t let himself think about that too much. 

When he thinks Louis has calmed down some he turns the vibration and watches as Louis twitches in his chains, coming up behind him and running a hand up and down his back. “Good boy. You’re being a good boy for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes Liam, I’m being a good boy for you. I am trying to be a good boy for you.” He starts to cry, hiccuping on a sudden sob. Liam knows he’s almost there. 

Reaching down he runs his hands gently on Louis’ ass. “You’re being such a good boy for me, love, which is why I think you deserve a reward.” He smacks a hand down, not as hard as he would if he was giving a punishment spanking. “You think we should take the cock ring off? Huh? Do you want to come for me, love?”

Louis shakes his head, still sobbing. 

“That’s right, I get to decide if you get to come, don’t I? I’m in charge of everything, yeah? Cause you’re such a good boy for me. We’re going to take this off and you’re gonna hold it for me. You aren’t going to come until I tell you you can.” He smacks his hand down again, reaching around to pull the cock ring off. He turns the vibrations down, watching as Louis pulls himself together. 

“Good boy, such a good boy. Just hold on a little longer then you can come, okay?” 

Louis nods, hiccuping back another sob, trying to pull himself together. “I wanna be a good boy for you, Liam. I’m gonna be a good boy.” 

Liam hums, giving him another smack before turning the vibration on the vibrator up. “I’m going to give you ten smacks, okay? Only ten, then you can come.”

Louis relaxes into his hands, trusting Liam in a way few others would. Liam smiles, smacking his right hand down while his left fucks the vibrator in and out of Louis’ lose hole. Louis’ clenching down around it and whining and Liam knows he’s close. 

“And that’s ten, come for me love.”

Louis sobs as he slumps foreword, his orgasm coming through him violently. Liam is silently impressed as it last for more then a minute, Louis already shuddering before he’s even finished. 

“You did such a good job for me, love.” Liam tells him, knowing he’s down. “Let’s get you down from there, huh? Can you stand for me?”

Louis shakes his head and whines and Liam is quick to sooth him. “Okay, okay. Here we can do it like this.” He holds Louis up with one arm while untying him with the other. “See, there now isn’t that better?” He coos, picking Louis up and carrying him over to the bed. “I bet your nipples are sore though, huh?” He teases, flicking one. Louis whines but doesn’t pull away, Liam’s trained him to good for such behavior. “That’s a good boy. This is gonna hurt a little, huh babe? On three we’ll take them off. One. Two. Three.”

Louis arches his back as feeling comes back, before curling up in a little ball. Liam shakes his head and crawls into the bed beside him. 

“We can cuddle for a few minutes but then you need to eat something for me, okay babe?”

Louis hums and closes his eyes, feeling calm. 

**************  
Later, when Louis has came back up and they’re cuddled in the bed Liam runs his fingers through Louis’ hair and hums to himself, thoughtful. 

“Why’d you tell your mom you’re engaged anyway?”

Louis doesn’t know what to say. Like. He’d came out to the band before the live shows, when they had all bared their souls. He was gay, Liam was aro, Zayn was pan, Niall ace and Harry was the token straight (though over the years that had changed, Harry had recently came out to the band as being a little bisexual hence the whole Narry thing). Zayn had shared about growing up Muslim post 9/11 even though they didn’t live in America it still wasn’t easy for him, or his sisters. Liam had shared about having to take up boxing because he was being bullied and how he only had one friend. 

Louis knew he could tell these boys anything, had told these boys everything up to this point. He loved them more then he loved his mom, more then he loved himself. Louis knew they’d never judge him (unless he admitted to having a crush on Simon Cowell, then all bets were off). He just didn’t know how to admit to this. 

“I didn’t want to marry a girl.” He finally says, running a hand across Liam’s chest to grab hold of his hand. “It’s one thing to have dragged you four into this mess but. I don’t know Liam, I don’t know if I ever want to get married. If I ever want to marry someone and make them a huge target and let myself be put out there enough to be hurt if they get kidnapped or hurt.”

“Are you sure this isn’t about Zayn?”

Louis sits up and smacks his hand on Liam’s chest. “No! What? I! What? Why would you even?”

Liam pulls him back down and forces him back into a cuddle. “You’ve always been a little... different when it comes to Zayn, Lou. Everyone but Zee knows it.”

With a huff Louis hides his face into his pillow, wondering if he suffocates himself if he can get around having this conversation. Wincing when Liam pulls his hair he bites his shoulder in retaliation. “Fine, fine I guess we’re talking about this then.” He sighs. “I like him a lot. Might even be a little in love with him.” 

“Lou, don’t you see, that’s great! Zayn feels the same about you!”

“Liam, babe. I know you’re trying to make me feel better but lying won’t do it. Besides he’s engaged to that girl from Little Mix, uh Perrie? Perrie Edwards.”

Liam bites his lip and turns his attention to the ceiling. “They called it off. Well she did. Said he wasn’t focused enough on her, or something. I’m not exactly sure. Zayn wasn’t really all that torn up about it, PR said we’d have to give a statement at some point but for now he isn’t confirming or denying anything.”

“Then why hasn’t he told me?” Louis bursts out. “I thought I’d be the first one he told! We’re best friends!”

Liam pets a hand through Louis hair. “Like you’ve told him about this? Babe, being best friends doesn’t mean you have to tell each other everything. I know you aren’t ashamed of what I do to you. I know you aren’t embarrassed, well sometimes you are, but wouldn’t it be hard to look Zayn in the eye and tell him that sometimes you like to have control taken away from you?”

“I guess.”

“No, Lou, you know so.” The hand that had gently been petting his hair suddenly tugged. “Why do you think I haven’t told anyone? Because oh, it’s daddy direction he always takes care of everyone. Oh he must not really be aromantic after all if he’s fucking Louis. It’s not like I can do something nice, that I can take care of a friend, without it meaning anything else.”

“Leeyum, Leeyum calm down. No one would think that babe.”

“Of course they would, Lou. Everyone always thinks there’s something wrong with me, that I need fixing, that I just haven’t found the right person yet. Why do you think I haven’t talked to my parents?”

Louis’ mouth drops open. “I thought it was because you felt bad you couldn’t tell them about the mob stuff to be honest.” 

Liam laughs, but it’s bitter. “Honestly? That was the least of my worries when we stopped talking. They wanted to send me to therapy to fix me. Like some kind of straight camp or some shit. They wanted me to leave the band and do what they wanted but like. Zayn was my legal guardian until I was eighteen, you know? They signed papers, you know, like Harry’s parents did with you. And Zayn wouldn’t let me leave. Like he put his foot down and told them he’d keep me away from them forever if they didn’t back down so they did but. We haven’t really talked since then.”

“Babe.” Louis gave him a punishing bite to the nipple. “Why didn’t you fucking tell me?”

“You had enough to worry about. Like, I mean you had just started this giant mob empire and you’d been doing football charity matches and you had Harry to worry about and I didn’t want to add to your plate. Zayn had it under control.” 

The blush running up Liam’s face and down his chest told Louis there was more to the story. “What else? What else is there Liam, you’re keeping something from me and I demand you tell me!”

“Sometimes.” He sighed. “Sometimes I’d sub for him, you know like you do for me? Without any romantic feelings. Like it’d be great to get out of my head a little.”

Louis hums in agreement. “I know. It’s part of why I do it.”

“And like. He never expected anything in return except a cuddle or maybe a chance to choose what we watched that night. I’d never had anyone before you four ever give me anything and not expect something back.” He muses. “I just. He kept telling me I wasn’t broken, even though my parents thought I was.

“I tried so hard to date, you know? I dated Danielle to make my parents happy, because I thought that’s what was expected of me. I never knew there was an actual word for what I am until Harry told me at the bungalow. Then I tried to deny it. I tried dating Dani and then Sophia but like it didn’t work. It kept breaking and I felt like it was my fault for not trying hard enough but Zayn told me it wasn’t. 

“He told me I’m perfect the way I am, Lou. That I don’t need my parents if they don’t support me and respect me and I believed him! I never thought I would. But I feel like confident and comfortable in my own body? And I feel like I can do for you what he did for me and it’s the best feeling in the world.”

“I’m glad babe. I’m really, really glad. I still wish you would have told me. I would, I will, do everything and anything for you, for any of you, you know that yeah?” 

“I know. I guess I was embarrassed.” 

“Let’s not talk about this now, then. We can pick this conversation up some other time, love. Let’s just sleep.”

“Sounds good to me.” Liam threw his big arm over Louis and pulled him in close. “You know I love you, bro.”

“I love you too, you lazy ass.”

***********************

He’s always been a little in love with Zayn is the thing. Even before they’d been put together as a band he had been half in awe of him, partly because of his beauty but mostly because of how his presence could fill a whole room. Louis knew how to fill a room, took pride in it in fact but Zayn. Zayn was different. He could do it without saying a word, without even trying. 

The Zayn from bootcamp and the Zayn from now are two different people, Louis muses blowing smoke out of his lungs. Bootcamp Zayn was quiet and withdrawn, stoic. This Zayn is a giggly high mess. Louis loved both of them but he really loved it when Zayn let go and just let himself be which didn’t happen often enough, in his opinion.

“Hey Zayn, come kiss me bro.”

Zayn rolled over from where he was rubbing his face in a cushion to blink at him. “Kiss you? Like. Kiss you bro?”

“Yeah, like kiss me. It’s not that hard an idea ta follow.”

Laughing he rolls off the couch and crawls on his knees to press a kiss to Louis’ mouth. Louis’ pushes back into it, exhaling his breath of smoke into it and with a cough Zayn pulls away. 

“Fuck mate, warn a lad before you do that.” Zayn teases him, rubbing his eyes.

“Sorry babe,” Louis says, blowing out more smoke, not sounding sorry at all. “You’re just so, so. Fuck. You’re so gorgeous and you don’t even know it.” 

Zayn laughs. “I think I know how pretty I am, mate.”

Louis shakes his head. “No, no you don’t. You make me want all these things. These things I can’t have and fuck. I want to pin you to the bed and mark you as mine, bro. And sometimes I think you’d let me.” He brings his hand to his face and covers it. “Fuck I’m too high for this conversation.”

Zayn laughs. “We’re always too high for conversations bro.” He crawls over to pin Louis to the floor. “But it’s never stopped us before.” He bites Louis’ neck hard enough to leave a mark. “I want the entire world to know you’re mine too, you know? I want to show you off to everyone, make them see how pretty I am with you on my arm. I want to be Mr. Zayn Tomlinson, second in command and husband to the meanest and baddest mob boss their is.”

“Fuck Zayn.” He bucks up into him with a moan. “You can’t just say shit like that.”

“Wanna bet? Cause I just did.” He licks the bite he left, reaching down to the other side to leave a matching one. “I want everyone to see how good I can make you feel. I want them to see you and I want them to know you’re mine.” He growls, reaching down to pin Louis’ hands above his head. 

“Mr. Tomlinson?” A knock on the door interrupts the moment. 

“Yes?” He has to clear his throat a couple of times to make him sound normal, that he’s not high and that he’s not currently being pined to the floor by his best mate, both of them with hard ons in their jeans. 

“Elisha is asking for you. It sounds urgent.”

“Fuck. Zayn, Zayn babe you have to...” 

But Zayn was already getting up and moving, a mask coming on his face. He picked up his tubber wear of weed and laid back down on the couch. He inhaled some smoke and blew it out, seeming to be content to pretend that Louis wasn’t there. Which fine, if that’s the way he wanted to play then Louis could play it too. 

“Okay, tell her I’ll be right there. I just have to...” He trails off, not sure what he was going to say. “Just tell her I’ll be right there.” He reaches down and puts on some lotion, hoping to mask the smell of the weed, rubbing his hands on his face. 

“You.” He points at Zayn. “Stay here. Don’t wander off.”

“Aye mate.” He offers him a weak salute, mostly mocking, before going back to humming to himself. Louis shakes his head at him before leaving the room. 

Elisha’s on her bed, her American Girl doll, imported from America, next to her. Her little eyes are red and there’s a nice goose egg on her forehead forming. 

“Oh babe, what did ya do, love?”

She whimpers, running a small hand across her face. “I fell.” She whispers, biting her lip. 

“I can see that.” He sits down next to her, pulling her into his lap. She comes easily enough, wrapping her tiny arms around him. 

“I love you a lot, you know babe? You can tell me what happened and I won’t be mad, I promise. It’s my job as your daddy to love you and protect you.” 

“I’m not suppose to go in that room though.” She whispers. 

Louis has noticed that she’s a rather quiet thing, always whispering or gesturing instead of talking. It’s taking some time to get used to seeing as his sisters and Emilia and Andy, the only other children he’s really ever been around, are all really loud. He kind of loves her for it though, he understands the need for quiet sometimes and knows how hard it can be to just be in the life they live. 

“I won’t be mad, love. Just tell me, please? You can tell me anything and I promise I won’t get mad.”

She hesitates, fisting her hand into his shirt. “I tried to get into the locked room by your office and it wouldn’t open and I knocked my head on the door when trying to force it to.” 

Louis shakes his head, he knew having that room in his house was a bad idea. “I’m not mad, love.” He assures her again. “I know I told you not to go into that room but I’m not mad. Can I see your forehead?” 

She nods and pulls back and he winces, looking at it. It’s already turning a nice shade of black, the social worker will love to see that. 

“Why don’t we go find Uncle Zayn and see if he has any ideas, huh? Then maybe we can find some ice for it and we can have ice cream for tea.”

“Really?!” 

“Yeah love.” He picks her up on his hip, frowning at how light she is before tickling his fingers up and down her sides. “I promise we can have ice cream for tea if you promise to be more careful, yeah? I don’t think I could handle seeing you really hurt.”

Pressing a kiss to his check and beams at him. “I promise daddy. No more ouchies.”

“That’s a good girl.” Opening the room where Zayn’s still on the couch he tosses her to him yelling, “Incoming!” 

Zayn lets out an oooph when she lands on his stomach, rubbing his hands down her tiny back. “What’s up babe?” His eyes land on her forehead and he frowns. “What did ya do love?”

She sighs. “I tried to get into Daddy’s locked room and got a boo boo. But daddy promised me ice cream for dinner and said you might help me put ice on it to make it feel better!” She beams at him.

“Of course love.” He stands up and carries her to where Louis is standing, staring at them. “C’mon Lou, we need to find the princess some ice.” 

Louis nods, a little breathless at the love of his life and his daughter being together. It’s a beautiful picture, one that he wished he could paint or take a photograph so he could remember it forever but he doubts he could ever forget it. Zayn, surrounded by golden sun light and his daughter, his beautiful little girl, looks as white as snow compared to him. They’re both so beautiful. 

He shakes his head to clear it. “Ice and ice cream for the prince and princess coming up.” He teases, holding open the door so they can go through it. 

“Do you even have anything in the kitchen, Louis?” Zayn teases, knowing Louis well enough by now that the older lad usually lives off of take out.

“Fuck you very much. Alberto just called in an order of tons of food. I’m sure there’s something down there.”

“Ice cream!”

They both laugh. “Yes, princess, I’m sure there’s some ice cream down there. I told Alberto to order some dutch chocolate just for you.” He assures her. 

“Good.” She pops her thumb in her mouth and cuddles in closer to Zayn, watching the paintings as they walk down the stairs. 

Zayn shakes his head at them both, wondering when he desperately fell in love with this family. 

***********************

It’s been four days and they haven’t talked about it. 

The kiss, shot gunning to be realistic, or the confessions they both made while high. 

It’s not that they’re ignoring each other since Zayn’s practically moved in with him but they’re ignoring the whole situation between themselves and the sudden tension between them. Everyone can feel it, even Elisha and she’s four. Liam has tried to pull Louis aside to ask about it after a band meeting but he’d just shrugged and had mumbled something vague that seemed to appease Liam. 

In truth Louis didn’t know what was going on. Zayn was practically living with him and his daughter. He woke him up in the morning with a full cooked breakfast (except bacon, which he refused to eat on principle whenever Zayn was around). He helps teach Elisha her numbers and letters and colors and basic math and even how to write her name. He’s helping teach her how to spell and to read. He’s there for her bed time, when Louis’ reading her a bedtime story and to give her a bath. He was there the first time Louis had to really punish her and held them both while they cried. 

Like he’s always there and Louis’ going crazy. 

Zayn doesn’t question why there’s rooms that are always locked, why his keys won’t unlock them. He doesn’t question why sometimes he disappears with Liam for hours and returns later with his eyes red. Sometimes Louis thinks he should. Zayn’s his second in command and if anyone has any right to know whats going on it’s him, but Zayn never questions it. He just bops around smiling at everyone and everything like there’s nothing better, like there’s nothing else he could ask for. 

(Sometimes, in the quiet of the night and in his own bed, Louis pretends that he’s the reason Zayn smiles like that. He knows he’s not, he knows that Zayn’s probably smiling for tons of other reasons; they made number one with their new single or he got the information out of a prisoner that they needed but Louis’ weak enough to, at least to himself, admit that he wants to be why Zayn smiles. He wants to be the reason Zayn’s always smiling and laughing and happy. He knows it will never happen, high confessions or not, but sometimes, sometimes, he wishes.) 

He doesn’t want Zayn to leave, he likes having Zayn in his house but. It’s fucking with his head. 

In a moment of weakness he calls Niall. 

“Look man, I know you and Zayn have that,” Niall pauses, crunching down on something, chips maybe, “star crossed lover thing going on but like you’ve got a daughter to think about now man.”

“Fuck I know.” Louis sighs, resting his hand across his eyes. It’s harder than he thought it would be, admitting his feelings to someone other then Liam. 

“And like, you know I love you man but, as soon as you come out as dating someone that’s an immediate target on their back. Which I’m not saying you shouldn’t date someone or whatever cause fuck knows you deserve to be happy mate, out of all of us you deserve it the most but. I don’t want you to fall in love and have that happiness taken away from you.”

Louis’ touched, honestly. “When did you get so smart?”

“When I let Harry put his tongue down my throat.” He replies, knowing they’re having as close to a moment as Louis ever has. 

Louis makes an intrigued sound. “So you’re okay with kissing then?”

“Yeah man. Kissing and holding hands are good, you know? Fuck cuddling’s my favorite thing to do.” Louis laughs, knowing this is more then true. “But like I don’t know. I’m just not interested in sex. Like I know he’s hot, fuck he’s hotter then the sun, but I don’t want his dick anywhere near my ass.”

“Is he as good at kissing as he claims he is?” 

Niall laughs, and Louis immediately feels better. “He’s even better.” He teases. “How about Zayn? Is he as good as all the girls claim?”

“Fuck mate.” Louis pushes a pillow on his face moaning. “How did you know about that?”

“Liam told Harry, needing some advice and, Harry told me ‘cause he keeps nothing from me.”

“Fucking band. You’d think you guys would be better at keeping secrets since we’re keeping such a huge one from the world.” He mumbles, not really all the mad. He knew when he told Liam it would only be a short time before the other ones found out, whether he wanted them to or not. 

“We keep that secret to keep each other safe. We keep it to keep you safe. You making out with Zayn isn’t a secret that determined whether or not we live or die. If it did you know Liam never would have told.” Niall no longer sounds teasing, or happy. He sounds so unlike himself that Louis sits up and pays attention, immediately feeling scolded and bad for talking bad about the other three. 

“Just tell me that Zayn doesn’t know that you guys know.” He says, as much of an apology as he ever gives. 

Niall takes it. “No, I don’t think he does. If he did do you really think he’d still be holed up in your house with you? He’d probably off some where doing his Bradford bad boy routine, oh I’m so much better then everyone. Oh I don’t need anything. Oh look at me, I’m emotionally stunted just like the rest of you idiots but I’m too big of a baby to say anything and get the help I need.”

Louis laughs, unable to help himself. “That does sound like him.” He admits. 

“Of course it does. It’s what he’s done every time something’s happened that made him feel something. Remember when he and Perrie broke up?”

“Did everyone know about that but me?” He bursts out, feeling a little bad for himself. He feels like Zayn trusted everyone but him and he hated it. He hated feeling like he was the weakest link in the band.

“No man. Liam told me after the fact. Like I didn’t know until two months after it happened, to be honest.” Niall assures him.

“That doesn’t make me feel much better.” He mumbles. 

“Well, fuck you then. This isn’t about making you feel better. This is about what we’re going to do about you and Zayn.”

“I know, I know.” He sighs. “Do you think it’d be worth the try?” He asks, unable to help himself. 

“I think if you asked him he’d go for it, yeah.” 

Louis hums, thinking. “I’m going to go Niall. I’ll talk to you later.”

“All right, I love you bro.”   
“Love you too.” Louis hangs up the phone and shakes his head, not sure what to think or feel. He knows he has to take a chance sooner or later, he knows he needs to put himself out there for someone. He knows he needs to call a band meeting so they can decide what to do about the whole mom situation. He knows he needs to do a lot of things but he decides to close his eyes instead and lay down, trying to relax. Those things will still be there in the morning, he reminds himself. And if they’re not then well, that’ll be okay too.

**********

When Louis wakes up in the morning it’s to Elisha’s face inches from his own and Zayn curled up in bed beside him. Both, on their own, aren’t surprise. Together they’re slightly alarming. 

“Did I over sleep or something?” He asks gruffly, his voice deepened with sleep.

“Nah babe, we decided to wake you up. Well, Miss Elisha decided to wake you up with breakfast in bed and needed Uncle Zayn’s help to do it.”

She giggles when they both look at her. 

“Is that true, love?”

She nods, beaming at him. “I helped make your tea, daddy!” She tells him, proud of herself. 

“Did you?” He asks, picking up the cup and taking a sip. “Why this might be even better then the way I make it!” When she isn’t looking he carefully takes a sip of water to replace the taste of the to sweet tea left behind in his mouth. 

“Uncle Zayn also helped me make you pancakes!”

“He did?!” Louis fake gasps, picking up the lid off his plate. “Oh and look, they’re my favorite.”

She nods knowingly. “We made you choco chip and made me and him blueberry pancakes. We made yours special.” 

“Thank you love.” He leans over and presses a kiss to her forehead, careful of her still there bruise. “Thank you babe.” He smirks at Zayn and leans over to press a kiss to his suddenly too hot cheek. 

“What are we going to do today, Daddy?” 

Louis takes a moment to think as he’s chewing his food. “Well, daddy has to call a band meeting.” He tells her, carefully avoiding looking at Zayn. “And then Uncle Zayn and Daddy has to go see Josh and and Emilia. Do you remember them? You meet them a couple of weeks ago.”

She nods. “I ‘member. Why do you have to call a band meeting daddy? I thought you guys are on break.”

He sighs, suddenly no longer feeling hungry. He puts the tray aside and pulls her into his lap. “Well gran decided something and daddy did something bad. He lied to her and now Daddy has to talk to the other boys to see what we should do.”

She gasps, covering her mouth with her hands. “You lied to Gran?”

He stifles a laugh and nods. “I’m afraid I did, babe. But we can’t tell her, okay? It’s really important she never ever finds out daddy lied to her.”

“Why?” She asks, innocently. “Would she give you a spanking?”

Louis blinks, blown for a moment. “Uh, not exactly.” More like she’d punish him to the point of wanting to die, keep him from the boys for as long as she could even though legally he was an adult, maybe even lock him in the cellar of her house for who knows how long. His mom is pretty creative with punishments. 

“Why’d you lie anyways, Lou?”

He turns his head and blinks at Zayn, not sure how to answer. “Uh. I think that’s probably something best discussed with the other boys.” He finally answers. 

Zayn shrugs, acting like he’s unbothered but Louis knows he’s hurt. 

“It’s just.” He sighs. “She wanted me to marry this girl.” He finally says, looking at anything but Zayn. “I reminded her I was gay and she told me I’d learn to love her anyway. So I lied and told her I was dating a guy and that it’s pretty serious and she bought it.” 

“I’m gonna have a papa?!?” 

Louis winces. “Uh, no babe. Remember daddy lied?”

Elisha pouts. “I think having a papa would be nice. You could marry uncle Liam, he makes you happy!” She insists. “You like it when Uncle Liam comes over.”

Louis breaths out and reminds himself that she’s four and that she doesn’t know any better. “Love, remember when we talked about how Daddy is gay and that means he doesn’t like girls?” She nods. “Well Uncle Liam is different too. Not bad different but. He doesn’t want to marry a girl or boy. He just wants to be your Uncle Liam, and that makes him happy.”

She nods, “He’s like Uncle Niall then?”

Louis shakes his head and looks at Zayn for some help, not sure how to explain such a complex thing as sexuality to a four year old. 

“No babe.” Zayn says, taking a gentle hold of her chin and turning it to face him. “Uncle Niall is in love with Uncle Harry, yeah? They’re dating. Maybe one day they’ll get married and you’ll get a cousin. Uncle Liam doesn’t want to get married, Uncle Niall does. Uncle Niall doesn’t like.... Well never mind that, that’s something you don’t need to worry about yet.”

She pouts, her bottom lip sticking out. 

“Pout all you want, my love, but you’re too young even by the mafia standards for this talk.”

“Besides, don’t you want to be my baby a little while longer?” Louis asks her with his own pout.

Her eyes widen and she nods, diving face first back into his lap. Her head makes it’s way between his shoulder and his chin. “I wanna be your baby forever, daddy.” 

He smiles down at her, even though she can’t see it, and rubs a hand through her hair. “No matter how old you get you’ll always be my baby,” he assures her. “Now how about I finish my breakfast then I can call your uncles and we can go to the park or something after my boring meeting, huh?”

She jumps up and smiles at him. “Please! Please! Please, daddy!” 

He laughs. “Okay. Ask Uncle Zayn nicely and maybe he’ll help you to the nursery.” 

She turns her wide eyes on Zayn and Louis can see the exact moment he melts. With a sigh he stands up and offers her a hand. “Come on then, love. Lets get you dressed so you aren’t in your pajamas when the others get here.”

“But they’ve seen me in my pajamas before.” She argues, allowing Zayn to lead her out the door.

Louis falls back against the bed and moans. It’s going to bed a long day. 

**********

“So let me get this straight,” Harry says, slowly, “you told your mom, in an attempt to not get married to a girl, that you’re engaged to a guy.”

“Not engaged! Just seriously dating!” He protests, though it’s lost under Harry still talking. 

“And you didn’t stop to think oh hey I’m not actually dating anything and she’s going to find out I lied to her?”

It’s later that afternoon and the five of them are curled up in Louis’ formal sitting room, Elisha with her nanny in her playroom hopefully out of earshot in case someone started yelling. 

“I was thinking,” He said through clenched teeth, “that I was trying to do the best thing for all of us. I’m gay Harry. I know that’s a foreign concept to you but I don’t like girls. I don’t like boobs. I don’t like vaginas.”

“I fucking know that Lewis!” His voice gets a little too loud and Liam immediately shushes him, looking over his shoulder like he expects someone to come running at a moments notice. “I wasn’t fucking born yesterday! Everyone and their god damn dog knows you’re gay! I was one of the first people you told!”

Louis takes a deep breath trying his hardest not to raise his voice back. “If you know that then you should know why I had to lie to my mom then.” He says as calmly as he can. “There was no other way to keep myself out of a marriage she arranged.”

“Look,” Niall says, always trying to keep the peace, “why don’t you just hire someone from another mob to be your serious boyfriend for a while? There’s tons of guys we trust and who trust us. We’ve worked with a lot of them before and you know they’ve got our backs.”

Liam clears his throat. “It’s actually not that bad of an idea.” He says, then blushes when everyone looks at him in surprise. “What? Would you rather one of us do it? I mean I love you Lou but I refuse to pretend to date you. Niall and Harry are together and no one would believe that you’re dating either of them anyways. And that leaves Zayn.” 

Zayn blinks when the attention is suddenly on him. “I mean I wouldn’t mind doing it for you, Lou. It’s not like it’d be much different then what we’re currently doing anyways.”

Louis shakes his head, trying to clear it. “I couldn’t ask you to do that, Zee. That’d put an even bigger x on your back and I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you.”

“I’m a big boy, Lou, I can handle myself.”

Pulling his hair he stands to his feet and starts to pace. “It’s not that I don’t think you can handle yourself!” He yells. “I don’t want you to get hurt! You’re the second best at protecting yourself, of course I know you can handle yourself! But that doesn’t mean anything when you’re kidnapped and tied up in someone car and being held for ransom.” His throat burns and suddenly his eyes are filling with tears. “It doesn’t mean anything when we’re trying to get you and we get there too late and you’re dead.” He hisses the last word, trying not to think of Andrea’s mangled body while he does so. 

“Louis.” Zayn sounds as broken as he feels. 

“Don’t! Fucking don’t.” He turns his back on them, pressing his hands to his suddenly stinging eyes. He’s cried in front of the boys before, they all have, but this feels different. It feels like it’s something that should be kept to himself and he hates that they’re seeing him so weak.

Liam stands up and approaches him and pulls him into a tight hug. It’s not as good as when he spanks him, or when he makes him fall apart at the seams but it’s soothing. For a moment he can be Liam’s Lou, his sub, without worrying about anything else. 

Quietly so the others can’t hear Liam whispers in his ear, “Do we need to call a stop to the band meeting? Do I need to take you over my knee Lou? Would that make you feel more settled?”

He shakes his head with a shudder. “I’m fine. I promise I’m fine.” When he sees the skeptical face looking at him he pulls away from Liam and pulls him by the hand to sit down next to him on the couch. “That’s not the only reason I called the band meeting anyway.”

Zayn nods his head. “The hostage.”

Niall sighs. “Do we really have to do anything about him?” He asks, holding on tightly to Harry’s hand. “We could do nothing, you know? We could just let him go.”

There’s a ton of things Louis loves about Niall, really there is. His bravery and how he always finds the best in everyone, for example. How he never fails to make anyone smile. But sometimes he hates how Niall came into the mob life without any real knowledge about what he was getting into. Sure Niall had probably researched into it but everything that’s online it couldn’t really prepare you to actually live it. He hates that he has to be the one to, gently, remind him that yes they really do have to do something about this guy. 

Liam beats him to it. “Niall, mate, this guy knows things about us. He knows where we all live. He knows our body guards names. He knows the passcode to get into Louis’ house. Hell he knows the passcode to get into your house. If we let him go he could go back and tell everyone everything he knows. We could be in serious danger. You could get hurt. Harry could get hurt.”

“But we might not!” He weakly protests. He knows his argument is weak, that he’s not going to win this.

Zayn steps in. “Think about Elisha, babe. They could decide to come in the middle of the night and take her. And we would never know what happened to her. They could do all kinds of things to her before they kill her. She’s just a baby, Niall, she doesn’t deserve that.”

Niall shakes his head, probably thinking about Andrea just like the rest of them are. “No. No I won’t let them take her. I won’t.” 

“Then we need to do something about him, love.” Louis tells him gently. “I’m not saying we have to kill him but we have to keep him from going and hurting one of us, yeah? We need to let him know we mean business and that he won’t get away with doing what he’s done before.”

Niall still doesn’t look happy but he nods, cuddling deep into Harry’s side with a sigh. 

“So what do you think we should do with him Lou?” Harry’s the one who asks, leaning back against the couch he looks completely at ease but the other four know he’s on edge. They all are.

“I don’t think we should kill him.” Zayn cuts in. “I think killing him would make someone retaliate and then we’d have a full out war on our hands. We don’t have time for that we our new CD coming out.”

Louis nods in agreement. “I think killing him would make too big of a mess.”

“We could give him to your mom to take care of?” Liam offers. “She’s still training Lottie, isn’t she?”

Louis bites his lip, thinking. He and his mom work together closely, probably a little too close for comfort sometimes. It’s not the worst idea in the world, she could take care of their mess while at the same time train Lottie. 

“I’ll call her and see what she thinks.” He says with a nod. “For now carry on as we are. If she says no we will revisit this sometime in the future. No matter what I promise we won’t kill him Niall.” He offers him a smile, even though it was probably a little tense. 

“Okay to recap Zayn and Louis are going to pretend to date, we’re not going to kill the hostage and we might be giving him to Louis mom.” Harry nods to himself. “Seems okay to me. Now I was promised quality time with my goddaughter so can we like get a move on?”

Louis laughs and stands up. “Let me go get her then we can go.”

********

Later at the park he slyly slides his hand over to grab a hold of Zayn’s. When he looks at him funny he shrugs. “We’re supposed to be in a committed serious relationship, remember? That means I have to hold your hand sometimes.”

Zayn shrugged and went back to watching Liam push Elisha on the swings. Her head was thrown back in laughter and Louis was half afraid her smile was going to break her face in half. He was scared, for a moment, that she wouldn’t have many moments like this. Where she could be a child and just have fun. He thought about his own childhood and how often his mom was away on business with his dad and how often he was left with his grandparents and promised himself he wouldn’t do that to her. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”   
Louis shook his head. “They’ll cost you more then that,” he teased with a smile. When Zayn gave him an unimpressed look he sighed. “I was just thinking about how often mom and dad had been gone when I was little. Like you know it’s common, I guess, for parents to be gone sometimes but like they’re nowhere in my memories really. I remember being the one to take care of Lottie and Fizzy. And we stayed with my grandparents more often then not.” He sighed again. “I was just promising myself I wouldn’t do that to her.” He nods to where Elisha was now on the monkey bars, Niall holding her up. 

“I want her to be a normal child, or as normal as she can be with a pop star dad. Like I don’t imagine she’ll get to go to public school or that we will ever be able to go to the park just the two of us but I want her to enjoy her childhood with a dad who’s around.” 

Zayn squeezed his hand. “You are a good dad, you know?” When Louis opened his mouth to protest he shook his head. “No, you are. Everyone can tell how much you love her. You’ve cut back on how much you smoke and the amount of weed you intake. Fuck I don’t think I’ve seen you drink in weeks. Like I’m in awe of everything you’re doing for her, Lou. I get it.”

Louis looks at him for a moment. “I never imagined I’d have a daughter at twenty three.” He said softly. “But when Anastasia called me and told me what was going on in Russia I knew I had to step in. When she asked me to adopt her I told her I would, no second thoughts but like. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing.” He sighed. “Like what if I had refused and Anastasia had found someone without connections for her to be adopted by? What if she could have had a normal childhood, Zee, without worrying about her dad?”

Zayn opens his mouth to answer but is cut of but a sharp cry. They’re both out of their seats and running to her without even thinking. 

“What’s wrong baby? What happened?” He turned to Niall and suddenly he wasn’t fun loving Louis, he was Daddy Louis wrapped in mob boss Louis and it was kind of scary. 

“Chill Lou,” Liam says, moving to stand in front of Niall. “She fell off the slide. She’s okay, aren’t you love?” He bends down and pokes her with a finger. 

She giggles, even though she still has tears running down her face. “Daddy.” With a pathetic whine she lifts her arms up to him and he feels his heart stutter, bending down to pick her up. “Look at my boo boo.” She shows him her elbow where there’s a huge gash. 

“Oh love, that looks like it hurts.” He coos at her, brushing some dirt out of it. “I think we’ve had enough excitement for today, huh? Why don’t we go home and have dinner and an early bed time?”

She shakes her head, throwing herself towards Liam. “No! I wanna stay with Uncle Liam!”

“What if I promised Liam could come over?” He asked helplessly.

“No! I wanna stay with Uncle Liam at the park!”

In the couple of weeks he’s had her she’s been even tempered, all smiles and giggles except when she’s hurt herself. Louis’ not sure what to do with the little devil that’s taken her place. The four of them watch in awe as she has her first temper tantrum they’ve seen in Liam’s arms. She beats her hands against his back and sobs about not wanting to leave the park. 

“Uh, Lou, you gonna do anything about this?” Liam asks helplessly. She isn’t really hurting him, she doesn’t have the strength to do so, but it is still rather uncomfortable to be hit repeatedly in the same spot. 

Zayn beats him to it, pulling her into his own arms. “Baby.” He says softly. “I know you’re upset but hitting people isn’t okay.” He flicks her nose and it startles her enough that she stops crying and looks at him. “We don’t hit people, do we? It doesn’t feel good to be hit.”

Louis finds the sky rather interesting, as does Liam. If they’re both a rather deep shade of red no one says anything, everyone else’s attention on the little girl in Zayn’s arms. 

“I know you’re upset but there are other ways to get your point across.” Zayn continues, bouncing her on his hip. “You could tell daddy that you’d like extra time to play and I’m sure he’d give it to you. But you’ve hit Uncle Liam and you hurt him.”

She turns her head to look at Liam and her bottom lip trembles, “I”m sorry!” She sobs out. “I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

Liam steps towards her, no doubt wanting to reassure her that she didn’t really hurt him but Louis shakes his head and takes her from Zayn. “I know a little girl who must not have had her afternoon nap today.” He says running a gentle hand down her back. “You’re forgiven, okay? No one’s mad at you anymore. But I think we are going to leave the park and go home so you can go to bed.”

She nods weakly against his shoulder and he winces when he feels his shirt get a little wet. 

“Can you say ‘Yes, Daddy, I understand?”

She mumbles it, her hand wrapping itself in the material of his shirt like she was scared he would disappear if she wasn’t holding on to him in some manner. 

“Good girl.” He kissed her forehead and walked to the car that was waiting for them. 

If she fell asleep in the car on the way home and the five of them couldn’t take their eyes off of her then who was to know?

*************

Is there a new daddy direction? 

In news that rocked all of us Louis Tomlinson, 22, was spotted with a little girl recently. While his team has offered “no comment” we have managed to uncover some adoption papers under his name. Sources tell us that he’s friends with the little girls mother and her dying wish was for Louis to take her in. 

From what we’ve seen she seems to be happy and content under Tomlinson’s care, though who wouldn’t be with a Daddy like Louis? For those keeping count he has six younger siblings, five little sisters and a little brother. We’re sure he is using what he learned keeping them in line on his new little girl!

Judy Sparks who was at the park the duo was at the other day tells us, “She was adorable. She kept calling him daddy and bringing him flowers. He would put the flowers in his pocket. When she fell asleep on him an hour or so into their time at the park he carried her to the car. It almost was enough to make me want another one!”

Sources close to the Tomlinson family share that Johannah, his mother, is estatic to be a grandmother and is currently making plans to bring the oldest two to London to meet the little girl.

Our sources also tell us that there is inner band romances brewing! Niall Horan, 20, who recently came out as asexual, and Harry Styles, 19, are reported to be dating. Myself and everyone else at SugarGate would like to congratulate the two! 

But there’s also another romance in the works. Our own Louis Tomlinson is supposedly seriously dating Zayn Malik, 21. We wonder how his daughter is taking the news.

*****

To say family dinner was tense would be an understatement. It was the five of the band, Louis’ mom and her new husband, plus all of Louis’ little sisters. Apparently a news article about him had ran that morning (which he promptly had ignored) and his mom had found out about Zayn sooner then he had expected. 

“And another thing Louis William Tomlinson!” She screeched making everyone at the table wince (and Louis secretly glad he had left Elisha at home), “I’m glad it’s Zayn! I’m hurt you didn’t tell me!” She rounded on Zayn. “Welcome to the family, love. Not that you weren’t family before! All of you boys are family.” She assured them. “But now it’s official.” She started to tear up.

“Mom.” he sighs hard, “Mom, it’s not like I’ve asked him to marry me or anything.” 

She glared at him. “You will if you know what’s good for you. Zayn would be the perfect husband for you. He can handle you when you’re being a brat.” 

Louis wishes he could be insulted but it’s the truth. He’s a little too head strong for anyone to take on by themselves. Even his Gran when he was growing up would have to call in reinforcements to make him do anything. 

“Now mom, can we talk business or?” Louis asks, trying to change the subject. 

She nods. “Babies, you can go to your room and play.” She tells the oldest twins, still much too young to hear about such things. 

Getting up from the table they smile at her, come around to give Louis’ a kiss on the cheek and take the plates to the kitchen. 

Louis waits until he knows they’re upstairs before starting. “His name is Rico. We had thought about bringing him in, you know? Making him one of us. He slipped up and Zayn found out he’s part of the Irish mob.” 

Jay shakes her head. “I told you boys to be careful.”

“Mom, it’s not like we did it on purpose! But now he knows too much and we can’t just let him go.”

She nods in agreement. “Why don’t you just kill him then?”

Harry speaks up, for the first time that night. “Too messy. We don’t want a war while we’re on tour. We’d have to constantly look over our shoulders and we can’t protect Elisha, be on tour and be paranoid all at the same time.” He explained. 

“I agree a war right now is not what you need.” Jay ran her hand through her hair. “But why me? Why don’t you give him to the Russians?”

“Well, Liam had the idea that you could take him and have it as a training exercise for Lottie. And I agreed with him. I think it would be good for her.”

Lottie rolls her eyes. “Mom’s in charge of my training, not you.” She says with the defiance that only teenagers seem to manage. She finally looks up from her phone to glare at him, and rolls her eyes. “I bet you couldn’t train anyone if you wanted to anyway.”

“Trust me love, you wouldn’t want him to train you.” Zayn tells her, giving her a lazy smile. He leaned foreword in his chair, his gaze suddenly sharp. “You know Louis as this sweet older brother who’d protect you from anything and do everything you ask of him. I know him as a ruthless killer. Sure, he can be sweet when he wants to be but he can also kill a man without even blinking.” He cocks his head to the side, his gaze hard on her. “Have you ever seen your older brother kill a man? Have you ever seen him drenched in blood, love? Cause I have and I’ll tell you there’s nothing more beautiful in the world.”

She flinched back in her chair, her face suddenly ashen. “Louis’ not like that.”

“Really? You think he’s a mob boss and he hasn’t killed anyone?” He tisked at her. “You really are a naive little girl. I almost feel sorry for you, having to take all of this on. Your dad and your mom, even your brother to a certain extent, built this huge beautiful empire and it’s going to crumple under your hands isn’t it?”

Lottie looked around, hoping someone would come to her rescue. Her mom was shaking her head at her though and Louis looked more then a little disappointed, if in her or in Zayn she couldn’t be certain. “I won’t let them down!” She tried to protest, but it sounded weak to her own ears. 

“Really?” He cocks her head at her. “So you don’t know how he carved open a man with a knife while trying to rescue Andrea. He pulled out his heart and tore it apart with his hands. You don’t know how he’s killed a man without a second thought, do you babe?”

“Zayn!” Louis’ voice was sharp. “That’s enough.”

Zayn sits back in his chair, a smug little smile on his face. He may have gotten in trouble but he had gotten his point across. Lottie looks shaken to her core which was exactly what Zayn wanted. He was tired of her thinking Louis was a push over and that he had gotten his rank because of his money. (While the money had helped it certainly wasn’t the only reason)

“Well then.” Liam cleared his throat trying to break the sudden tension. “Louis do you have the pictures of Elisha from the park? You wanted to show your mom didn’t you?”

Louis pulls out his phone and slides open his Instagram app, something his mom still hasn’t gotten the hang of and hands it over so she and Fizzy can coo over the little girl. He sits back in his chair with a sigh, knowing he won’t be leaving anytime soon. 

******  
Coming out to the world as a couple (officially) happens like this.

Harry called in some favors (and Louis didn’t care to think about what kind of stuff he had on people to manage to pull this off) and got Nick Grimshaw of all people to agree for the five of them to appear on the BBC Radio One Breakfast Show. It’s way too early in the morning for anyone to be awake and Louis is more then a little cranky (only to be helped by the tea Liam keeps pushing on him.)

It’s small and it’s personal and for a lie it feels real, for a moment. 

Louis, for Harry, bites back comments about Nick’s hair while they’re off air. He manages not to throw anything at him (this time) and even manages to smile sweetly at him, which makes Nick suspicious, which brings Louis a lot of joy.

They start their interview off with some twitter questions, Nick had the fans use the hashtag #1Dwithgrimmy. They avoid anything to do with Elisha and anything to do with Niall and Harry or Louis and Zayn and it’s almost like being back in the UAN tour. There’s some truth or dares and questions about how they do their hair and how they’ve changed since the X Factor. 

Then things get serious. 

Nick asks them about the new CD to start with and the five of them banter with each other, just like they always have. They talk about how their sounds has matured as they have, and their fan base has matured too. They talk about how they wrote twelve of the sixteen songs on the CD and are proud of the fact. (Zayn kicks in a comment about how Liam and Louis had done most of the writing and how sick was that.)

Then when the interview starts winding down he teases him and Zayn about holding hands and asks them if there’s any truth to the rumors about them being together. 

“There must be,” he teases, “they’re looking at each other like the moon shines out of each others bums.”

Zayn laughs. “Of course not, who’d want to date an ugly mug like him?”

“Hey! You love my ugly mug.” He protests, poking him hard in the side. 

Zayn giggles, his nose wrinkling up and his tongue coming to press against his teeth. “I do.” He admits, his voice growing fond. “I do love him.”

“And do either of you want to comment on your sexualities?” Nick asks. “There seems to be a bet going on here at BBC1.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “I am one hundred percent completely gay. I have yet to find a lady I’m attracted to, not to say one day it won’t happen but for now I’m confident enough to say I’m gay.”

“And you Zayn?”

He huffs out a breath. “I’m pansexual. It’s kind of like bisexual but. Different.” He looks at the other four boys and they shrug at him. “It’s kind of confusing but I’d suggest looking it up if anyone’s interested.”

Nick hums, while Louis laughs. “I’ve always thought he was kind of Louisexual myself but I’ve been told that’s insulting to say.”

Harry reaches over to slap him.

“For those listening in,” Nick says with a sigh, “One Direction has just gone down about ten years in age. They’ve broken out in a slap fight.”

And just like that they’re out as a couple. Just like that Zayn’s become the biggest target in the band after Louis himself. 

*********

Taking care of a four year old while pretending to date your best friend is hard, Louis has come to find out. The thing is even before they agreed to fake date Zayn was always around. Elisha had gotten used to Zayn always being there. She always manages to blindside him at the most inconvenient times, when he wishes he could push her off on the nanny, but he promised himself he wouldn’t. He’s promised himself he’s going to be a hands on dad, and tackle even the hardest situations. 

Which is how he ended up here, in the backseat of his car with her next to him, Alberto and the driver sitting in front quietly arguing about which road they should take. 

“Daddy?” She asks, and he knows he’s in trouble just from the tone of her voice. 

“Yes love? Please stop kicking Alberto’s chair, babe.”

She stops swinging her legs and turns her head to look at him. “Since you are dating Uncle Zayn and Gran says you are gonna marry him does that mean he’s my papa now?”

If Louis had been drinking something he’s sure he would have done a spit take. “Uh. No love, it doesn’t mean he’s your papa now.” He shakes his head. “Why does Gran think I’m marrying him, love?”

She beams at him. “She says you look at him like she looked at Grandpa and how she looks at her husband now.” 

Louis rolls his eyes, of course. “Well me and Uncle Zayn won’t be getting married anytime soon.” He tells her gently. “I’d ask you before I married anyone. You’re my number one, yeah? You mean the world to me and I wouldn’t do anything to make you unhappy.”

She frowns at him. “You made me eat my veggietables last night.” She reminds him.

He has to laugh.”That’s different love, and you know it. Vegetables make you grow up big and strong. Without them you won’t grow up to be Daddy’s big girl.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be Daddy’s big girl! Maybe I want to stay little forever!” She crosses her arms with a pout. 

“Now love, you know you want to grow up so you can go to museums with Uncle Zayn. And so Uncle Harry can teach you to dance and Uncle Niall can take you to.”

“Uncle Niall is going to take me to Irish land!”

He hides his face in his hands, trying not to sob with laughter. When he manages to get himself under control he clears his throat and blinks back his tears. “I think you mean Ireland, love.”

“That’s what I said!”

He shakes his head fondly. “At any rate no one is getting married any time soon, babe. I’m sorry. I’m sure you would make a beautiful flower girl.”

She beams up at him. “I’d make the bestest flower girl daddy. Flowers love me.”

He opens his mouth to correct her but decides it’s not worth the struggle. His phone ringing is a welcome distraction. “Daddy has to take this.” He tells her, clicking accept. “This is Tomlinson.”

“Hello Mr. Tomlinson, you may not remember me but I’m Anastasia’s sister.” 

“Hello? Yes, I remember Anita.”

She sighs. “I’m just calling to let you know my sister passed away this morning. And her will is being read tomorrow and as long as no one argues anything...” she clears her throat, suddenly sounding awkward. “She left everything to you.”

Louis struggles not to drop the phone in his shock. “She did what now?”

“You heard me correct, Mr. Tomlinson. Anastasia left everything to you, the house included, with the knowledge that it would be used to take care of her, your, daughter.”

“Why would she?”

“She loved you dearly, Mr. Tomlinson. She knew you’d never love her back the way she wanted to and she tried to make herself happy with Richard but she loved you in a way she could never love him.” She cleared her throat. “I know you’re her father now but I was wonder if I could see....” she trailed off, not sure what her new name was.

“We kept her name the same,” he told her. “Her first name is Catherine now but her middle name is the same. We call her Elisha. And yes, if you are ever in London or if we’re ever in Russia we can certainly meet up and you can see her. I would never keep her away from you on purpose. I know how much family, how much heritage means to people.” 

She lets out a breath. “Thank you Mr. Tomlinson. I’ve stepped away from that life style, as much as I can, and when Ana told me she was giving Elisha up I was devastated. But. I’m glad you got her. It sounds like you love her a lot. You out of anyone knows how much she means to the world.”

He smiles, looking over to where his daughter is babbling to herself. “It’s Louis, you can call me Louis. And I do. I love her very much.” He assures her. “I’m doing everything in my power to keep her safe. She has the best body guards money can buy.”

“I never doubted it.” She tells him and he can hear the smile in her voice. “I have to be going now, the wake is tonight but I will be seeing you soon Mr Tomlinson, Louis.” 

“Goodbye then.” He clicks his phone off and puts it in his pocket and looks over to his little girl again, wondering if he had told her aunt a lie when he promised to keep her safe. He brushes a hand through her hair and smiles back at her when she grins up at him. 

*******

When Lottie calls him he has half a mind to ignore it. They’re in band rehearsal, practicing for their next world tour (already sold out!) and he really doesn’t want to talk to her but he hits accept anyway.

“This is Tomlinson.”

“Lou.” She says, and it sounds like she’s been crying.

“Lottie?” 

The other four jump to attention, swarming around him, and he tries to wave them off but he knows this is going to be bad. 

“What’s the matter love?” He asks her, clinging tightly to Liam who presses against him, half trying to hold him up and half to listen in on the phone call. Harry takes it from them with a sigh and puts it on speak phone.

“They’ve taken Daisy, Lou!”

Louis’ heart stops. 

“Who’s taken her?” Zayn demands, coming around the other side of Louis to help Liam hold him up. 

“We don’t know! We went to pick her and Phoebe up from school but they said she’d been checked out by dad. Dad’s not even in England, Louis! Someones taken her!” Her voice cracks and Louis jumps into action. 

“Okay babe, okay calm down. Have you told mom?”

“No! She’s in America for some training or something, I didn’t really ask for details.” She sniffles. “She said she wasn’t to be interrupted for anything.” 

“Lots, I’m sure she’d want to know one of her children went missing.” Louis tries to tell her, already walking out of the building, the other four behind him.

“She left her phone here, Lou. The only way to contact her would be to email her and you know she never checks her email.”

Louis hates to admit it but she’s right. “Okay Lots, calm down. Me and the others are on our way, okay? We will take care of everything.” He promises her, pushing the others into the car, not to gently. 

“Please hurry.” She begs, before hanging up the phone. 

When asked later Louis swears the ride to Doncaster took four times as long as it usually did. Zayn and Liam both took turns trying to distract him, though they knew it was in vain. Harry and Niall sat in the seat behind them working on some harmonies quietly, sometimes reaching over the seat to pet Louis’ hair, just to let him know that they where there for him.\

When his phone goes off they all lunge foreword eagerly, hoping for news but Louis shakes his head when he opens it.

>  
Miss Elisha has just gone down for her afternoon nap. Body guards are on stand by, Mr. Tomlinson. 

>  
Thank you. I will let you know when we are back down to a code green.

He clicks his phone off and sighs, closing his eyes. 

“She’ll be okay, Louis.” Zayn tries to sooth him, running a hand through Louis’ hair, “She's a smart girl and you’ve taught her well. I bet she’s giving them hell.”

“I hope not.” He shakes his head. “I hope she’s keeping her mouth closed and doing what ever they tell her to.” He doesn’t want to imagine his happy little baby sister being tortured for being mouthy.

Finally, after forever, they pull in front of the Tomlinson house and Louis’ the first one out, running and throwing the door open, the others not far behind him. What he sees makes him stop in his tracks. 

All four of his sisters are sitting in front of the TV watching some kind of Barbie movie. Louis sees red. 

“What’s going on here?” He asks, trying to find a reasonable explanation. 

Lottie looks over her shoulder at him, then down at the stop watch in her hands. “Oh it only took you an hour and a half? Not bad.” She clicks her tongue. “I wasn’t expecting you for at least another half an hour.”

“Again I ask what is going on here?”

Fizzy stands up and comes over to hug him and shakes her head. “Me and the twins had nothing to do with it,” she tells him. “Lottie had the brilliant idea to test you and see how you’d react if one of us went missing.” She pulls away from his hug and rolls her eyes. “I told her it was stupid but she wouldn’t listen. C’mon babies, let’s go upstairs so Louis can yell at Lottie in peace.” 

Louis watches as she leads the twins upstairs before rounding on Lottie and shaking his head. She looks a little taken a back and he’s glad. 

“Now look Louis, I know you’re angry,” She begins.

“Angry? Angry?” He laughs, but it isn’t a happy sound. “Angry doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now.” He hisses out. “I’m beyond pissed. Do you even know what you did to me?” He stalks over and pushes a finger into her chest. 

“I had to leave rehearsal for this. I thought someone had taken my little sister and they where going to abuse her. I thought she was going to fucking die before I could find her. I thought, god forbid, some sicko was going to put their hands on her and make her do sexual acts on them. So no, I’m not angry Charlotte I am livid.” 

He’s shaking when he pulls away, left over adrenaline and anger mixing. “I can’t even stand to be in your presence right now.” He says throwing his hands up. “All I want to do is strangle you.” He stalks out of the room without a backwards glance, Liam quickly following him.

Lottie nervously giggles, looking at the remaining three members. “He’s always been kind of a drama queen.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and moves towards her, making her nervous. “I told you Lottie, that your brother wasn’t one to be crossed, didn’t I?” She nods, biting her lip. “He could cut you up right now and feel no regret. Of course he won’t because he loves you and blood bonds or whatever,” he waves his hand while he rolls his eyes, “but the truth is he wouldn’t even have to get his hands dirty, would he.” He puts one of his hands on her shoulder with a wicked grin. “Any one of us would slit your throat just as soon as he asked.” He leans down so he’s inches from her face. “And maybe even if he didn’t ask. I’ve been dying to do something to you since you opened your mouth at dinner the other night.” He runs his finger down her cheek to her throat. “Make you bleed. Make you fucking scream and beg for mercy.”

“You’re cruising for a punishment and if your mom doesn’t put you in line I will. And that’s a fucking promise.” He pushes her away from him and shakes his head. “My hands are all dirty from touching her,” he complains to Harry. “I’m going to go wash them then try to find Lou. Hopefully he’ll have calmed down.”

Lottie takes in a deep breath, suddenly feeling very guilty for what she did. It’s not a feeling she’s used to. 

***********

Liam found Louis first, thankfully. He was outside the house pacing back and forth going through a box of cigarettes like he used to before Elisha came into his life. 

“I haven’t seen you chain smoke like this in a while.” He comments, rocking back on his feet. 

“I haven’t had a reason to.” He bites back. Liam doesn’t take it personally. He knows just how worried about his sister Louis was, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud to anyone. 

“What do you need Lou? Do you need me to take you over my knee?” He asks, stepping to stand next to him, his hands tightly down on Louis’ shoulders. “Do you need me to tie you down to a bed somewhere and hold you down so you can pretend the world doesn’t exist for a little while?”

Louis whines, pressing back into his hands with a sob. “Please.” He turns to hide his face in Liam’s shoulder, not really sure what he’s asking for. 

“Of course love, of course.” He sees Zayn coming towards them and shakes his head, warning him off. He’s sure Louis wouldn’t want anyone to see him this way but him. Zayn nods, bites his lip and turns around to go back into the house. “Why don’t we go to the car, huh? I can spank you nice and good in the car and we can pretend the world doesn’t exist for a little while.”

Louis nods, smearing snot along Liam’s neck but he doesn’t mind. He picks him up bridal style and carries him to the car, opening the back door. 

“I need you to get in, love, and pull down your pants and underwear, can you do that for me?”

Louis nods, sliding into the car and doing as he was asked. He sniffles, wiping his hand on his face to try and take away some tears. 

“Good boy.” Liam says, getting in behind him and closing the door. He’s suddenly very glad the windows are darkened and that no one will be seeing in. “I want you across my lap, okay love? You don’t have to count. Just say stop when you’ve had enough.”

Louis rocks back and forth trying to get comfortable on Liam’s knees before he relaxes into his touch. He allows himself to fall apart as Liam spanks him and breaks him apart, and then puts him back together.

Finally when he’s had enough and he’s said stop Liam carefully pulls his pants back up and pulls him into a cuddle, using his thumb to gently brush away Louis’ left over tears. 

“I’m so proud of you, Lou.” He says softly, then more insistent when Louis shakes his head in denial. “I’m proud of you for telling me what you needed and then for letting me give it to you. I know it took a lot for you to do that and I’m so, so proud of you.” He presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Are you ready to go back inside now? I’m sure Zayn’s given Lottie a stern talking to.”

Louis pulls back and looks at Liam in horror. “Oh god I left him alone with her!”

“Nah babe, Harry and Niall are in there. They’d stop him before he did anything too crazy.”

Louis looks at him in doubt (which Liam honestly doesn’t blame him for) before shaking it off. “I guess I’m ready to go in now.” 

Liam nods and opens the car door, getting out before offering his hand to Louis and helping him out. 

“Why don’t you send a car to pick up the nanny and Elisha?” He asks, wrapping an arm around Louis as they walk to the house. “I’m sure you’ll want to be close to the twins for a while and you don’t want to leave Elisha alone over night.” 

Louis nods his head in agreement, opening the door. “I think I’m going to do that, actually. I might send Alberto up to get her. He’s the only one I real trust to keep her safe.” He sighs. “I didn’t know being a dad would age me this quickly, Payno.”

Liam does his best to hide his laughter as they round the corner. The other three boys are sitting on the couch talking to Fizzy and the twins. Lottie is nowhere to be seen. 

“Yo Malik! You didn’t kill my sister did you?” Louis teases him, jumping on the couch and into his lap. 

“No, I just made her wish she was dead.” He smiled, showing off all his teeth. “Thought she was going to piss herself, to be honest.” He sounds a little sad that she hadn’t.

Harry rolled his eyes. “He didn’t touch her, Lou. Just scared the shit out of her.”

“Though we can hurt her if you want us to.” Niall’s eager to cut in. “She has it coming for the way she treated you.” 

“Thanks Nail file but I kind of like my sister alive, for now. I don’t really want to go to war with my mom either.” He muses. 

The other four laugh, preparing to tease him when Fizzy clears her throat, looking at them, suddenly nervous. “Lou? Can I talk to you alone?”

“Sure babe.” He stands up and helps her to her feet before turning to look at Zayn. “You, call Alberto. He’s around here somewhere. Tell him to go and pick Elisha and the nanny up.” 

“Of course.” He pulls out his phone, already planning the text message he’s going to send. 

Louis allows himself to be pulled up the stairs to Fizzy’s bedroom. He sits down on the bed and watches as she closes her door and turns on her radio, slightly louder then was called for. She blushes when she sees him watching her. 

“I don’t want anyone listening in.” She explains. 

He nods, understanding that feeling. He still does it sometimes and before Elisha moved in with him he mostly lived alone. 

“I wanted to talk to you.” She says slowly, moving to sit next to him on the bed.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, love.” He tells her, resisting the urge to run a hand through her hair the way he would do Elisha. 

“I know.” She bites her lip. “It’s just. It’s just this would make mom mad and I don’t know how you’ll react.”

“Well, you won’t know until you tell me.”

“I don’t want to join mom’s mafia!” She bursts out. “I don’t want Lottie to be in charge of me someday! She abuses her power and likes to play mind games and I don’t want anything to do with that!” She shakes her head. “I want to join yours!”

Louis blinks in shock. “You. You know if you joined mine you couldn’t live here anymore, don’t you Fiz? You’d have to move to London. You’d be leaving all your friends behind. You’d have to come on tour with us.”

She nods. “I’ve thought a lot about it, Lou!” She promises. “I don’t have very many friends anyway and Lou promised me she’d teach me how to do hair and make up so I could have a head start before I went to school. And I could do computer work to finish school, I know I could!”

Louis laughs, pulling her into a hug. “You don’t have to talk me into it, love. If you’ve thought about it and you’re sure then I’ll be happy to have you.” He presses a kiss to her forehead, laughing again when she pulls away and wipes it off. “You have to convince mom, though. She won’t believe it’s your idea if I bring it up to her.”

She moans dramatically. “I bet she says no.”

Louis snorts. “Not after the talk I’m going to have with her.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, love, if she doesn’t put Lottie in line I will. She’s crossed the line one too many times and needs to be put in her place.”

Fizzy shakes her head, biting her lip. “You aren’t going to hurt her are you, Lou?”

Louis takes a moment to look at her, really look at her, and sees the same little girl who used to cuddle with him before her bed time. She looks scared of him and it breaks his heart. He’s never wanted to give any of his sisters a reason to fear him, even though they knew what he did for a living. He’s done his best to do his business away from their eyes, and when he lived at home he always made sure he never came back covered in blood. And for this to happen.

“No babe, I won’t hurt her. And I won’t let any of the others hurt her either,” he promises. “You are still my baby sisters, even if I do have a new family now.”

She nods. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Fiz. I hate having to leave all of you so often.” He admits. 

“Is it everything you wanted Lou?” She asks, not managing to look him in the eye. 

“Yeah. It’s everything I ever wanted and more. It’s. There’s no explaining it. When you’re on the stage and everyone is there to see you, you feel powerful. You feel loved in ways you can’t even imagine. When your fans tweet you and get hash tags trending for you, nothing else compares to it. But sometimes I wish I was here in Doncaster going to university so I could tuck the twins into bed. Or so I could scare your boyfriend when he comes to pick you up.” He shrugs. 

“There’s a lot of plus sides to fame, Fiz. I’ll never hurt for money. Not that we would have anyways but I’m actually earning this money an honest way. Elisha will never hurt for money. She can grow up and become anything she wants to. She won’t have to join the mob if she doesn’t want to. She can become a doctor or go to Africa for humane work if she wants to. She could become an olympic swimmer or a ballerina or a dancer, all kinds of things we never could.

“But there’s a lot of minuses to it too. I can’t go anywhere without being photographed. Do you know how hard it is to get any work done when you’re constantly looking over your shoulder wondering if someone is going to get proof of you killing someone?” He shakes his head. “It’s a wonder the five of us haven’t burned out yet. We’re going and going and going non stop and we still have to put out another two CDs before we can change management.”

“Is that something you guys are thinking about?” She asks, fiddling with her necklace. The music playing in the background has changed to something new ageish and Louis finds himself liking it.

“Yeah. We’ve talked about it some. We’re ready to move away from being just a boy band. We’re adults now and want to be taken more seriously.” 

She nods, seeming to come to a decision. “I didn’t just bring you up here to tell you about wanting to join you.” She admits standing up. She gets on her knees and crawls under her bed, pulling a bunch of stuff out. Louis shakes his head in awe at everything that was put under there. Finally she seems to find what she was looking for and pulls out a box. 

With a sigh she sits down next to him again. “Anastasia wrote me a letter after Elisha was born.” She begins. “She wasn’t sure what to do.”

“What to do about what?”

“She’s not. Her father isn’t who you think it is.” She says, trying to avoid his gaze. “She left this letter for you, there’s some pictures too.” She gestures to the box. “I’ll leave you to read it.” She stands up and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be downstairs when you need me. I uh. I’ll send Zayn up, I think you’ll need him.”

He nods, his eyes on the box in his hands. He doesn’t even notice when she leaves, too nervous and worried about what the box could hold within it. Finally he forces it open and he finds ultrasound pictures and baby pictures of Elisha. 

Picking them up he smiles at them, a little confused. He knew Elisha when she was a baby, he has pictures of them together so why did Anastasia think he needed these? 

Finally he came across the letter and with a fast beating heart he opens it, his hands shaking. 

Dear Lou, 

I can’t believe I’m actually writing this. I told myself I would never tell you, that you didn’t need to know. My husband was fine claiming her as his own and you have this wonderful and amazing life that doesn’t have room for either of us in it but Anita told me I had to tell you. And I know I do, it’s not fair to keep it from you. You love her so much already and you don’t even know.

I’m dying, Lou. I’ve got cancer. I don’t know how long I have left to live and I don’t want my daughter growing up with a cold man like my husband. He means well but I know when I’m gone he’ll go back to his old ways and she’ll be thrown aside. He’s a hard drinker, Lou, and I’m scared if I leave her with him what he would do. He’s not a cold man. He loves us but little girls take so much energy and attention and love....

She’s yours, Lou. 

I know you don’t believe me. How can she be yours, we never slept together. Your gay. There’s tons of reasons she can’t be yours, I’m sure you’re a listing them all right now but I promise you she is. 

We must have slept together one night when I was in London when we had too much to drink or something. I did a DNA test and she’s a 99.9% match, love. You can’t fake those kinds of results. 

I want you to take her. 

I gave this letter to Fizzy with the instructions to never read it. She’ll give it to you when she thinks the time is right. It is to be hoped that I’ll be able to tell you the news in person and this letter won’t be needed but just in case.....

Take her and run, Lou. The Russians are planning bad things. Horrible things. Things I’m not supposed to know about. 

They want you dead. They want all of you dead but for some reason you are number one on their list. That cute friend of yours is number two. So take our daughter and run. Leave the mob if you can. Don’t pull attention to yourself. Keep your head down and just be a band. Be the normal twenty year old I know you can be. 

And don’t let your mom push you around, alright? She’s your daughter, you know best for her, don’t let your mom tell you any different. 

I love you Louis. 

With all my heart,  
Anastasia

Louis drops the letter in his lap, his hands no longer able to hold it. He’s shaking too bad. He can’t gather his thought enough to think anything coherent. His mind is racing a million miles an hour, going a hundred different directions and he can’t keep track of it with it bouncing back and forth. 

He’d slept with Anastasia? And he didn’t remember it. He felt absolutely disgusted in himself.

“Lou?”

He swings his head around to stare in the door way where Zayn now stands. He looks more concerned then he probably should. 

“Are you okay babe? Fizzy said you needed me.” He moves slowly over to sit never to him, like he’s trying his best not to startle him. 

“I just. The letter.” He shrugs, handing it to him. He watches as Zayn reads it, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“Well this does explain a lot.” Zayn muses, putting the letter down on the bed beside them. “I mean she does look and act a lot like you.” He hurries to explain when he sees the look on Louis’ face. 

Louis laughs. “She does have my sass, that’s for sure.” 

“Yeah mate.” He leans against Louis, putting his arm around him. “So are you okay? Do I need to call some of the others up here for a group cuddle? Are you going to have an emotional break down where we profess our love for each other.”

“Dick.” Louis pushes him off the bed with a giggle. “I’m fine. I mean I’m shocked, I thought if I slept with a girl I’d remember it but.” He sighs. “I’m glad if I slept with a girl that it was Anastasia.” 

“You know you’re going to have to have a DNA test done here, just to be sure.” Zayn says as he stands, shaking out the wrinkles in his shirt. 

“I’m trying not to think about it. She’s mine either way and I’ll love her regardless.” Louis says, fierce. His biologically or not she was his daughter and the band was going to fucking treat her as such.

“I know man, she’s got you wrapped around your finger. It’s kind of gross.” Zayn runs out of the room laughing as Louis takes chase, trying to get close enough to tackle him to the floor. 

**********

(When they go downstairs Zayn quietly explains the situation to the other boys, his arm wrapped firmly around Louis’ waist like he knew he was seconds away from falling apart. He lets Liam take charge, calling management about making a statement, and lets Niall and Harry work out calling a doctor to get another DNA test ran. Louis sits there and just breaths and lets it all happen around him.)

**********

Later, when Elisha and her nanny and Alberto have arrived Louis picks her up and carries her over to the couch and sits and stares at her for a while, trying to find his own face in hers. She giggles under his gaze where most people would feel nervous all she feels is loved. (It might also help that she has her beloved elephant toy in her hands). 

In the shape of her eyes he finds his own. Her nose is shaped like his, though she hasn’t yet really grown into it. He smiles at her and she grins back, dimples appearing in her cheeks and he laughs, happy she has something from her mom. Now that he’s really looking for it he can see that she really is a mini him and he’s a little in awe of it. She has her mom’s curly hair but it’s turning red like his does if he spends too much time in the sun. 

With a squeal she wiggles and frees herself from his arms and he lets her go, watching as she runs over to Zayn and demands he picks her up. She still doesn’t really understand the whole Daddy and Uncle Zayn are dating but Uncle Zayn isn’t your papa thing he muses with a wince. 

“Papa!” She stomps her foot and tugs on his pant leg when he doesn’t immediately pay attention to her. 

“What was that love? I think I heard a little girl talking to me but it wasn’t very polite.” Zayn says, turning to look down at her. 

“Papa up please.” She holds her arms up to him and smiles happily when he picks her up and places her in his lap. 

Zayn smiles at her, “What nice manners.” He praises her, giving her a pat on the back, then turning his attention back to his conversation with Liam. She smiles at him and pats him on the head, seeming content to just be close to him.

Louis shakes his head, turning his attention to their nanny. “Was she behaved today?” He asks her. 

Grace nods. “She was perfect, Mr. Tomlinson. You know that though. She’s always a very well behaved little girl. She wasn’t happy about going down for her nap without you there or about having to eat her greens but she did them both.”

Grace is Russian, someone Elisha knew before she came to live with Louis. She was one of Anastasia’s oldest friends and to call her just the nanny wasn’t really fair to her. She did a whole lot more then just take care of Elisha. She helped cook and clean and did a lot of the shopping, even though Louis assured her she didn’t have to. She kept the boys on their toes, packing them lunches when they had to be in rehearsal all day or in the studio recording. She was a godsend and Louis was pretty sure everyone was a little in love with her, even Liam. 

“She never likes to eat her greens.” He says, shaking his head to clear his inner musings. “She thinks they’re evil and they’ll possess her or something.”

Grace laughs. “I wonder where she got that idea.” 

Louis tries to look innocent but knows it doesn’t go over well. Everyone who knows him knows he’d rather be eating fast foot then something healthy and maybe when he visited Elisha in Russia he’d bribe her with McDonald’s more often then not so it probably (totally) was his fault that Elisha thought she could get away with not eating them now that she lived with him. 

“I know, I know. It doesn’t help that Harry tries to get her to eat kale every time he comes over.”

Harry glances over at the mention of his name, frowning at both of them. “Hey! There is nothing wrong with kale. It’s good for you and it will make her grow up big and strong.”

“Sure Harry, sure keep telling yourself that. You aren’t the one who has to keep her from throwing her plate every meal whenever something green appears.”

Harry pouts, forcing his bottom lip to tremble and his eyes to widen. He looks about like Elisha does when she’s moments from a melt down. 

“It’s not going to work.” Louis laughs at him. “Go make that face at your boyfriend.”

“Fine, I will!” Harry hmph and turns his back on Louis and starts making dramatic kiss faces at Niall, noises included. Louis has to laugh even as his attention turns back to where Zayn is holding Elisha, something that will never stop making his heart race. 

Elisha is curled up in Zayn’s lap, her eyes closed like she’s half a minute away from sleep. Louis loves that she trusts all the boys enough to fall asleep in their lap, that she still has a trace of innocence and doesn’t know what the evil they have done yet. He hopes, selfishly, that she never finds out and in the event that she does, she’ll still love them as much as she does right now. He wants her to stay innocent, stay his little girl.

He stands up and rolls his shoulders with a fake yawn. “I think I’m going to take little miss prissy to bed.” He says, bending over to take her into his arms. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

The other four look a little disappointed, probably that Elisha is being taken from them so early, but they all nod and murmur “Good night, Lou,” before going back to their own conversations. 

Elisha is a comforting weight against him as he climbs the stairs, holding her carefully so she doesn’t wake up. He can feel her twitching a little, mumbling under her breath in Russian which makes him smile.

“I promise you sweet girl, I’ll take you back soon.” He promises, opening his old bedroom door with one hand, taking care to make sure it doesn’t creak as he does so. 

He walks over to his bed and puts her down gently before going over to her suitcase and pulls out a nightgown for her. It’s purple with little pink hearts on it and he immediately knows that Harry and Niall must have picked it out. As silently as he can he walks back over to where she lays and carefully undresses her, pulling the nightgown over her head. He doesn’t worry about her hair, though he knows it’ll be a mess to deal with in the morning, and puts her in on the side closest to the wall. He has to shake her head when she curls up, hand tucked under her chin and her curly hair a halo around her head. 

Quietly he undresses himself and slides in beside her, wrapping an arm around her so she’d know he was there if she got scared in the middle of the night. He closes his eyes and lets sleep take him.

***********

Wake up is chaos, as it always is. Elisha doesn’t want to get up and cries when Louis makes her. The oldest twins throw temper tantrums, something they really should have grown out of, when they find out they still have to go to school. And of course his mom gets home early that very day, which is just his luck. He’d been hoping to be gone by the time she arrived back, safely taking Elisha away from her and her quote all knowing mother guide unquote. 

Elisha is thrilled. She’s only seen her Gran in person maybe twice so it’s a treat for her and she takes no time at all to curl up in her lap, chattering away about everything while Louis and the others hurry to back up their things. 

“And Papa and Daddy said they’re not getting married anytime soon, gran, but I think that means they’ll get married soon anyways.” She announces at one point as Louis is walking past. 

“Really?” Jay turns her attention to Louis. “She’s already calling him papa, love?”

“I know, I know it’s a little soon and we’ve tried to tell her he’s Uncle Zayn but she’s a stubborn little thing.” 

Jay rolls her eyes, which are suddenly wet. “I’m just so happy for all three of you. He just, he completes your family in way I never thought you’d get.”

“Uhm.” Louis’ not exactly sure what to say, he was almost sure his mom would think it was a bad idea and face with the fact that she’s happy is different for sure. “Yeah he completes us I suppose.” 

Jay kisses Elisha’s head. “I’m so proud of you. I know I don’t tell you enough but you’ve done so many amazing things and seen so much of the world and your stupid geography teacher was wrong. I knew it, I always knew you’d do great things but this? I never expected this.”

Louis takes a deep breath, knowing he’s going to have to tell his mom the truth. He sits down beside her and takes Elisha into his own lap. “I actually have something to tell you mom.” 

“Hm? What’s that dear?”

“Elisha is mine.” He can’t look her in the eye. “Apparently Anastasia and I slept together the last night she was in London and both of us had had a little too much to drink and well. There’s DNA tests to proof it. She’s mine. Congrats.”

Jay looks at him for a moment. “Did you think telling me this would make me any less proud?”

He shrugs, hiding his face in Elisha’s hair. “I don’t know. I know you didn’t expect me to get a girl pregnant with the whole gay thing. And I know you don’t really approve of the whole sex before marriage thing.”

She laughs. “That may have been true like years ago but this,” she pats her pregnant belly, “didn’t happen waiting to be married, love. You came out of marriage and you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” She nods at the little girl in his lap. “She’s going to change your life in so many ways, Lou. I know she already has but there’s so much joy in being a parent. There’s a lot of hardships too, don’t get me wrong but hearing an I love you from someone every night who means it? You couldn’t trade that for anything in the world.”

“Ana told me to leave the mob.” He blurts out. “She said that the Russians are planning my assassination.” 

“I wouldn’t be suprised if they are.” She admits. “You’ve made a lot of enemies, love. We both have. I know they’re supposed to be your allies but sometimes even friends turn on you.”

“Do you think we should leave?” He doesn’t look at her, instead focuses his attention on detangling some knots still in Elisha’s hair. “Do you think I should leave this life behind, put someone else in charge, and give her a chance at a normal life?”

She hums. “I think that’s something you’d have to talk to your boys about, Lou. I can’t answer it for you. Being in the mob and being a parent is hard. I was constantly worried about you and the girls, I still am. It’s part of the reason I left you with Mark’s parents so much. We did our best to make sure no one knew you existed until you had turned fourteen. It didn’t work, but we did our best to protect you. I know you’ve resented me at times for not being there when you grew up but I really did do what I thought was best.”

She reaches over and puts her hand on top of his. “And I know you’ll do what you think is best for Elisha. You think leaving will protect her? You’d do it in a heartbeat. But don’t just do it because you think it’ll protect you from the Russians. If they’re after you they’ll still be after you when you leave.” 

“I know I just. I don’t want to die and leave her an actual orphan, you know?” 

“I know. You love her, you want the best for her.” She repeats. “But you have to do what’s best for you too. Sometimes, even when it’s hard, you have to put yourself first. And love? No one will guilt you for doing that. If they do shoot them up the ass and tell them it’s none of their damn business how you raise your daughter.”

He turns his head and side eyes her and she laughs. “It’s different for me, love. I’m her gran, I have to put my nose in it. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be doing my job properly; God knows how many times my mom tried to tell me what to do when you were small.”

Elisha whines, reaching for Jay and she takes her back. “But you love Gran the most, don’t you little one? You love me the most out of all your grandparents, yes you do.”

Elisha laughs and shakes her head, and Louis laughs with her.

“Has she met Zayn’s parents yet?” Jay asks, changing the subject, bouncing her gently on her knee.

“No. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything, she’s not really their granddaughter yet. I assume that if we ever get to that point we’ll take her up there to meet them though.”

“Louis love, you told me the two of you are serious. Serious means she needs to meet his family sooner rather then later.”

Louis doesn’t agree. “I don’t want her to get attached in case we break up.”

“She’s already attached to Zayn. Even if you break up it’s not like he’ll be gone out of her life. You two are in a band together, it’s not like he can just leave. Take her to meet his family, introduce them.” She shrugs. “You don’t have to tell her they’re her grandparents yet if you don’t want to, just get her used to more people. I’m sure the only ones she’s been around are you and the boys.”

He opens his mouth to argue but yeah, that’s actually pretty much true. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

Jay shakes her head and smiles at him sadly. “That, my dear son, is one thing you can’t protect her against.” 

“What are we protecting Elisha against?” Zayn asks, dropping down beside Louis on the couch. 

Jay smiles at him. “We just had been talking about her meeting your family. How she needed to get to know them before you two got any more serious.”

Zayn nods thoughtfully. “Well that’s a conversation I’m afraid you will have to finish another time. The car is ready to leave.” He tells Louis, standing up. “And the boys have already got everything packed up. Elisha and I’m going to go tell your sisters goodbye, Lou.”

“Sure thing love.” He watches Zayn’s ass as he walks away before turning to look at his mom, who’s smiling at him knowingly. He blushes. “Well mom, I’m afraid this is goodbye for this time.” They both stand up and embrace. “Think about what I said about Lottie, okay? She’s getting out of line and driving everyone wild.”

Jay laughs. “I know someone who was just like her at sixteen and he grew up okay.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek before swatting him on the behind. “Now get. Your hot little boyfriend is waiting on you.”

He runs out the door with a laugh, shaking his head. 

*******

They’re in Brighton of all places when Zayn brings up meeting his parents. They left London a few days before, trying to get Elisha used to the new place, since the only places she’s been is London, Doncaster and Russia, before they leave London for tour. She’s grumpy and being a brat but neither of them let it get to them. They’re both determined to make it a good day, even if she doesn’t want in on it. They’re out on a beach, mostly hidden, just the three of them and their body guards, when he brings it up. 

“So, about Elisha meeting my parents.” He says, looking out across the water, his legs swinging back and forth, hair blowing in the breeze.

“What about it?” He looks down at Elisha from his chair, she’s happily building a sand castle in her Elmo one piece bathing suit, floaties on her arms. She waves at him when she sees him watching and he waves back with a smile. She’s covered head to toe and sand and Louis is not looking foreword to having to clean her up at bath time. 

“If we’re going to do this, Lou, we’re going to do it right.” 

Louis turns to look at him, confused. He sounds determined and suddenly so unlike himself that he’s taken aback a little. Zayn’s staring back at him, his eyes intense. He’s shirtless, they both are, and his tiny swim suit leaves nothing to the imagination. Louis kind of wants to use his tongue to trace all of Zayn’s tattoos (but that’s nothing new). 

“All in, right Lou?” He asks, getting off of his own chair and dropping to his knee. “Louis, you’re my best friend in the whole world. You are my partner in crime, a pain in my ass sometimes but I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Will you do me, and your mom, the joy of becoming my husband?”

Louis wants to say no, he doesn’t want to tie himself to Zayn anymore then he already has. If he refuses he can Zayn can call this silly arrangement off and Zayn can find a nice guy, or girl, to settle down with. He knows this. But what comes out of his mouth is, “Yeah. Yes, I will.” 

Zayn beams at him, his eyes crinkling with the force of his smile. When he stands up he brushes sand off his knees before pulling Louis into a tight hug. “I’m going to kiss you.” He whispers in his ear, pulling back and pressing a quick kiss to Louis’ mouth. “Fuck I forgot to put the ring on.” 

Louis shakes his head and offers his ring finger, watching as the ring is slid on. It’s tasteful, not something he’d think he’d like but he loves it. It’s not overly girly, pure silver and thick with only one medium size diamond resting in the middle of it. 

“What do you think?” Zayn asks.

“I love it.” I love you, he wants to say but he knows this is fake. He knows Zayn doesn’t feel the same way about him. 

“Jaan, come here.” Zayn calls to Elisha, watching as she drops her shovel and pail. He catches her when she runs at him, with a laugh. “Do you know what I just did babe?”

She shakes her head, sand flying everywhere.

“I just asked Daddy to marry me. That means I’ll be your papa for real now.” He tosses her in the air then quickly catches her as she comes down. “What do you think? Would you like that?”

“Does that mean you’d live with us, papa? Live with us for real?”

Louis looks at Zayn and Zayn looks at Louis and they shrug at each other. “We haven’t discussed it yet, love. We aren’t home very much, you know? So we’ll have to see.” Louis says, hoping that will make her happy for now. 

“I want papa to live with us.” She says with a nod, like she’s the boss. 

Neither one of them dare argue with her, she has them wrapped around her finger. “Okay love, we hear you. We will talk about it when we get back to London, okay?”

She nods, squirming to the ground and going back to her sand castle. They sit down together on one of the seats, holding hands, their legs swinging back and forth. It’s peaceful for a long couple of minutes, just spent enjoying each others company. 

“I want to adopt her.” Zayn says, not looking at Louis. “If we’re going to get married I want to adopt her so if something happens to you she isn’t taken from me.”

Louis nods, using his other hand to rub his face. “I was going to ask you to. I was going to call a band meeting when we get back and formally ask you to adopt her. They could say no but since I’m her biological father I don’t see why they would.”

“I want her to meet my parents.” He says in reply, still not looking at Louis. “I want to introduce her to my sisters and my cousins and Ant and Danny.”

He laughs nervously. “I don’t know if she’ll be meeting them all at once, bro, but I’m okay with her meeting your friends and family.” He knocks his shoulder against Zayn’s. “We’re in this together now, and all that.” 

Zayn turns his head and brushes a finger down Louis’ cheek. “There’s going to be tons of pictures of this in the news tomorrow, you know that?” 

Louis closes his eyes and nods. “I imagine so. We’re famous, we can’t go anywhere without it being big news.” He thumbs the new ring on his hand. “And even if we’re not famous the police are always watching.” He tilts his head to where there’s a police car sitting down the pier. 

“What the fuck are they doing there?” Zayn asks, angry. “We’re not fucking doing anything but spending the day out with our daughter.” 

Louis sighs, turning his attention back to Elisha. “They have probable cause, Zee. They can pin us in certain places when things happened but they can’t prove it was us.” He shrugged. “We’re always really careful but sometimes you can’t be careful enough.”

“I want to go home.” Zayn stands up and drops Louis’ hand. “I don’t want to be here anymore where they’re fucking watching us like we’re animals.”

Louis nods and stands too. “Come on love,” he says to Elisha. “Pick up your toys. Papa is ready to go back to the hotel.” 

She whines a little but puts the toys back in the plastic container they came in then lifts her arms up to Zayn. He takes her with a tight grin while Louis shoulders her toy bag and the bag holding their towels. They have to walk by the police car on the way to their own car and with one hand cradling Elisha’s body tight to himself he flips the cops off with the other hand, nodding at them politely as he walks past. 

**********  
He liked it so he put a ring on

All the single ladies put your hands up.

Two members of One Direction can now say they’re no longer part of the single ladies crowd. 

We are proud to say we are the first to have pictures of Zayn Malik, 22, proposing to his now fiance Louis Tomlinson, also 22. Rumor has it that Tomlinson’s daughter, Catherine Elisaveta Tomlinson age four, has been calling Malik papa for some time now. People close to the family has said that Catherine has been begging her father to marry Malik for months. It looks like he beat Tomlinson to the punch. 

No news on how the other three members of the band (Harry Styles, Niall Horan and Liam Payne) are taking the engagement. No statement from their team has been made at this time, though we’ll be the first to let you know when it happens! 

Turn to page seven for pictures of the sweet moment, their sweet beach side kiss and the moment they told Catherine the news. 

***************

Everyone wants to steal his Lou

One Direction has rocked the world today with news of an engagement! Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson, both 22, are seen pictured below at a recent red carpet event, are now officially engaged. Sources have told us that Zayn carried the ring around for months before popping the question. Aww. 

Louis’ daughter, Catherine Elisaveta Tomlinson, age four was on hand when Zayn asked. It seemed that Zayn wanted to get away from London for a while as it’s reported he asked in Brighton. 

No comment has been made by anyone in the band or by their team. 

***********

Trouble in One Direction?

News of Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson’s engagement has reached just about everyone in the world by now, we’re sure. The beach side proposal is something out of a dream but here at KLTG we noticed something unusual in some of the pap shots. 

There seems to be a police car watching Malik and Tomlinson rather closely. Malik even seems to notice it, flipping them off as they leave the beach. We are left to wonder if something bad is going on behind the scenes of One Direction. 

Their team has reported that there is always a police car watching them now that Tomlinson’s daughter has came to live with him. Peter, head PR for Syco, had this to say; “We would like to assure the fans that we have requested police surveillance on the boys when ever they are out in public. It’s just a precaution and at this time there is no need to panic.” 

It sounds a little rehearsed to us! We hope not. From our hearts to yours, boys, stay safe. 

**********

Taking Elisha to meet Zayn’s parents sounded a lot simpler then it really was. Elisha was nervous around new people, probably because Anastasia had kept her so sheltered and Louis was nervous about letting people around her he didn’t personally know. That meant that she spent a lot of time just with him and Zayn, sometimes the other boys and their live band. He occasionally let their hairdresser Lou around her so she could play with Lux but not often. (He and Zayn had both came to an agreement that Caroline and Brooklyn needed to come around a lot more often.)

When they arrive all three of them are tired. He doesn’t want to deal with having to introduce Elisha to a bunch of new people all at once and when the door opens he has to hold in a groan. It looks like the whole Malik clan (including aunts, uncles are cousins) are here. 

Zayn’s mom pulls him into a hug right away and coos over the ring on his hand and then hits Zayn more then once for not telling her soon that he was going to propose. His dad, his baba, pulls Louis into a hug and welcomes him to the family. Louis nods weakly, Elisha tight in his arms, a little overwhelmed. 

He’s met all of Zayn’s immediate family before, is the thing. He know all of their names. There’s Doniya (twenty four), the oldest, Waliyha (seventeen) after Zayn and then little Safaa at thirteen rounds them out, he has the oldest twos numbers in his phone for fucks sake. Waliyha hangs out with Lottie sometimes since they’re the closest in age out of all the siblings. He has no reason to be nervous introducing his daughter to them but. All three of them crowd around him trying to get a glimpse at Elisha, running their hands down her arms and in her hair. Finally when Elisha starts to get fussy Zayn tells them to back off. He swats at them when they get a little too close. 

“You can see her when she gets more used to being here.” 

“But you’ve kept her from us forever!” Waliyha protests. 

“And I’ll keep her from you longer if you make her cry.” He takes her from Louis and bounces her on his hip, frowning at his family. “We’re here to let her get to know you but she’s not used to a lot of people. Louis’ family, who she knows, scares her sometimes, so crowding around her is a good way to make her afraid of you.”

Zayn’s mom beams at him proudly, “Why don’t I take your bags inside and you can get her settle in your old room for a nap?” She suggests, gently taking a hold of a tiny hand. “I’m sure the journey took a lot out of her.”

Louis laughs while Zayn rolls his eyes. She’d been a little terror, so unlike herself that neither one of them had really known what to do. Alberto had finally taken over the service of making faces at her until she wore herself out. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Malik.” Louis says, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek.

“Oh honey, you’re family now! You can call me mom.” 

He nods, his smile tight across his face. “Alright, thank you mom. I think I’m going to lay down with her for a while, she’s not used to waking up in unfamiliar places so it’s best if one of us stays with her. Zayn, babe, you can stay down here and catch up if you want?” 

Zayn nods, leaning down to press a kiss off center of his mouth before handing over Elisha. She tries to cling to him but he gets her to let go of him fast enough. “Don’t you wanna go lay down babe?” He asks her softly. “Daddy’s going to go lay down with you.” 

She whines and reaches for Louis who takes her and holds her close. He follows Zayn up some stairs and enters the bedroom with a blush. 

“I figured you boys would want to share,” Trisha explained with a bright smile. “I remember what it was like to be young and in love.” She winked. 

“Mom! In case you haven’t noticed we have a child!”

She laughed. “I give it a day and she’ll be begging to stay in Safaa’s room. Now come on, love, lets leave your jaan to sleep.”

Zayn went to the door, looking over his shoulder at Louis. He shrugged in response. One of them had to take one for the team and it might as well be Zayn, who’s family it is. He leaves with one last glance over at them. 

Louis shakes his head and makes himself comfortable with Elisha on the bed, humming to her. An hour or so, he promises himself, he’ll wake her up and they’ll go down and socialize. 

************

A couple of hours later when Elisha has woken up from her nap and is in a better mood Louis hesitantly takes her downstairs with a small bag of toys. She’s not as clingy as she was when they got there which Louis took as a good sign. 

“Hi love!” Trisha greeted, looking over her shoulder from where she was standing at the stove stirring something. “Zayn and his sisters took Baba out to get some things for dinner so it’s just us three. I sent everyone else home.”

Louis smiles at her, a little bemused, putting the bag down in the corner of the room. “Thank you.” He turned his attention to Elisha, taking hold of one of her hands. “Lisha baby, can you say hi? This is Papa’s mommy.”

She turned her head a little to look at her and smiled. 

Trisha gasped. “Oh Louis, she looks so much like you.” She put the spoon down in the pot and turned the stove off, moving to sit at the table before gesturing Louis to sit beside her. Louis sits down and puts the little girl on the floor, watching her as she toddles over to her toys. “She calls Zee Papa?”

Louis laughs. “Yeah she was kind of insistent on it, even before the two of us became engaged. She called him Uncle Zayn for like two weeks and then he became Papa.” He bit his lip, wondering if he should tell her before coming to a decision. “He’s going to adopt her, you know?”

Trisha looks suprised. “Like formally adopt her?”

“Yeah. We’re looking into making her Catherine Elisaveta Malik Tomlinson. We figure Zayn and I will hyphenate our last names and we don’t want her to feel left out.” 

“Have you decided how you’re going to do the wedding?”

Louis looks at her wide eye. “Mom, we’ve been engaged for like a week. We’ve got a huge world tour coming up, the wedding hasn’t even crossed our minds honestly.”   
She nods. “I was just wondering what you had in mind? I know you aren’t really religious but you’ve grown up Christian and Zayn is Muslim.”

“I think we’re planning on doing two ceremonies, but I’m not sure.” He sighs. “Honestly I don’t care if we do a Catholic one.”

“You know everything between Allah and Zayn is between Allah and Zayn and everything between you and God is between you and God.” She shrugs. “I don’t have a place in it. But when the two of you get married, before then even, you need to sit down and discuss how you’re going to raise your daughter and any future children you have. You need to discuss if you’re going to convert to Islam like I did.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think I will. Zayn and I are pretty good at, you know, respecting each other like that.” He doesn’t mention anything about the mob since he’s pretty sure she’s not in the know. He doesn’t tell her how he fought tooth and nail to keep Zayn from having to do the religious aspects of the initiation. 

“And if he asks you to? When he and Perrie dated they brought it up.”

“If he asks me to convert I will.” He tells her, suddenly deadly serious. “I won’t do anything that would put my relationship with your son at stake. If he wanted me to move to the sun I’d do it in a heart beat, even knowing I’d die. I’d do anything to keep him happy.”

The sound of the front door opening stops their conversation, both of them turning to look as the girls rush into the room, Zayn hot on their heels.

“Don’t rush her! Don’t rush her!” He pushes them out of the way to get ahold of Elisha first. 

At the sound of his voice she drops the toys she’d been quietly playing with and threw her arms around his leg. “Papa! Papa!” 

“Hi baby girl.” He bent down and picked her up, carrying her over to sit with him at the table between Louis and his mom. “You two look serious.” 

Louis smiles. “We’ve just been talking about the wedding.”

Zayn furrows a brow. “It’s a little early for that, isn’t it? I mean we’ve only been engaged for like six days.”

“That’s what I tried to tell her but she brought up some good points. Like.” He shrugs, trying to play it cool. “Like if I’m going to convert to Islam and what kind of wedding we’re going to have.” 

“Oh.” He bounces Elisha on his knee, turning his attention to his mom. “We haven’t really talked about it, mom. I mean I don’t expect him to”

“I told her I’d do anything to make you happy, babe. If me being Muslim and raising our kids that way would make things easier on you then I’m all for it.” He shrugged. “I just don’t want you to wake up in like five years and regret anything.” 

Regret it more then marrying me to make everyone happy. Regret it more then doing this whole fake relationship thing in the first place. Regret it like I regret dragging you into the mafia life. 

“Nothing could make me regret picking the two of you,” he tells him seriously. “I picked this life. I knew what it was when I decided to come into it and I haven’t looked back.” 

Safaa clears her throat. “If you two are done can I see my niece now, please Zayn? I promise not to scare her!” 

Zayn laughs. “What do you think love, want to meet your aunties?” He asks her.

She looks up at him with wide blue eyes before turning to look at the three girls gathered in front of her. She doesn’t seem afraid which is a good step in the right direction, Louis supposes. When she reaches out to touch Doniya’s hair both he and Zayn let out a deep breath, relived. 

“Hi love.” She says, getting down on her knees to be more on her level. “Aren’t you a pretty girl? You look just like your daddy.” 

“I want to see her!” Safaa pushes the other two out of the way. “Hi! I’m Safaa! I’m going to be your favoritest aunt, I promise! I’ll sneak you lots of cookies and soda and candy when Louis and Zayn aren’t looking.”

“You will do no such thing Safaa Malik!” 

Turning her nose up at her mom she shakes her head. “I will too. I’m an aunt now and it’s my job to spoil her.”

“Okay, okay.” Zayn laughs, trying to stop the argument before it even really begins. “All three of you are going to be amazing aunts to her, see she likes you. She’s not crying or anything.”

She squirms to get down and goes to get her toy elephant and brings it back over to show Waliyha. She seems oddly proud of it, like she was the one who made it. Louis shakes his head. The thing is dirty and worn having been hers since she was a baby. He thinks he can recall the actual day she got it if he thinks about it hard enough. 

“Babe why don’t you show them one of your newer toys?” He asks, a little desperately. 

“No.” She stomps her foot. “Mine. Elle is mine. My baby.”

“Yes, yes Elle is your baby. But you have so many pretty and new toys you could play with your aunties with.”

She shakes her head, stubborn.

“I’m sorry. She has a thing for elephants lately, we’re not sure why.”

“Elephants!” She shouts in a agreement jumping up and down before going around the table to show Trisha her necklace. “See? I have an elephant on my necklace too. Papa and Daddy got it for me.”

Trisha coos over it and she beams. “Daddy says I never ever have to take it off ‘cept when I take a bath or go swimming cause I like elephants that much. Papa said when I’m bigger I can get an elephant ring!” She pouts. “He said my fingers are too little right now.”

Turning her attention back to Zayn she says, “Papa? This is your mommy?”

He nods. “Yeah, this is me mom, love.”   
“And I call Daddy’s mommy Gran.”

“That’s right love, you do.”

“What I call her?”

Zayn hides a smile when he catches his mom’s eye. She’s smiling but her eyes are wet with tears. “Why don’t you ask her, sweetheart?”

“You can call me grannie, if you like.”

Elisha nods, stepping foreword to make her way carefully into Trisha’s lap. She curls up and begins to play with her fingers. “Did ya know I’m this many?” she asks, holding up four fingers. “And papa teached me to read and write and my numbers and my colors and said I’m a big girl now and I get to go on tour with them!”   
“Did he now?” 

Reaching over Louis laces his hand through Zayn’s, giving it a gentle tug. The tour was going to be upon them sooner then later and there was still so much to do, so much to plan but for now Louis was content to be surrounded by his daughter and family.

**************

Tour, as Louis figured, was a nightmare. They’re in Australia a few days before they’re scheduled to perform, trying desperately to get Elisha used to the new time zone, and everyone is grumpy. Even Niall could be found snapping at people that morning. 

It didn’t help that they’d had a close call where Harry had almost been kidnapped. (Though could it really be called kidnapped when the person was almost six feet tall?) 

Niall was close to killing everyone when he found out and Louis feared him for a moment. He was scary when he really wanted to be. Liam had to take away all his weapons, put him on lock down and promise that Harry wouldn’t be leaving the hotel without at least six security guards before he’d calm down. 

It’s not that Australia is bad, or anything. Australia is beautiful as always. The beaches are pretty and the waves warm and big enough to ride. Zayn hesitantly watches from the shoreline as Louis took Elisha out on his surfboard and they ride the waves together. When they wipe out and paddle back to the beach Zayn takes her from him under her protests and wraps her in a towel telling Louis he is never allowed to take her out again. He is going to protest until he sees how bad Zayn is shaking.

There was a lot of interviews and pap shots, everyone trying to be the first to get pictures of Louis out with Zayn and Elisha. It feels like they can’t go anywhere without a camera being pushed into their faces and Louis is getting tied of it. 

Louis Tomlinson  
@Louis Tomlinson  
Catherine is a four year old little girl. Just because her fathers are famous doesn’t mean she is. 

Fandom explodes. He should have expected it really. #Herfathers trends for almost forty eight hours, which is rather impressive in his opinion. 

Lana  
@troylerstilinsk  
HER FATHERS H E R F A T H E R S!!! 

Lana  
@troylerstilinsk  
AND YOU THOUGHT ZOUIS WAS DEAD

Olivia  
@oliviazouisstan  
lOUIS IS CLAIMING ZAYN AS HER OTHER FATHER

Zouis hoe  
@rabidzouisfan  
@louis tomlinson @zaynmalik #herfathers #getCatherineatwitter 

#Zouisbitch  
@Rainbows and zouis  
I HOPE ZAYN ADOPTS HER AND HAS MORE KIDS WITH LOU!

Louis Tomlinson  
@louis tomlinson we appreciate all the love you have for Elisha. She’s only four so no twitter for her yet. 

Louis Tomlinson  
@louis tomlinson her Papa and I are still teaching her how to write laughing emoji shades emoji rainbow emoji heart emoji

Louis Tomlinson  
@louis tomlinson I think letting Elisha on twitter would be a lot like Liam on before he wakes up proper. smirky emoji fist emoji

He watches as they have a second meltdown over him referring to Zayn as papa in a tweet, a smile on his face. Their fans really are the greatest, even if they did tend to know a little too much of the truth sometimes. He had been a little weary, at first, letting the fans in on his and Zayn’s relationship, fake as it is, as he knew they’d find out sooner or later that it was just pretend but literally everyone seems convinced their together. 

Shaking his head he closes his Twitter app and looks across the bed. Zayn’s curled up asleep, facing him. His hair is dark against the white pillow and he’s grown more then a little facial hair during the lazy days they’ve had waiting for tour to start up. 

It’s not a new thing, sharing a bed with Zayn. Back during the X Factor tour all five of them shared beds (on one memorable occasion even a couch), bouncing back and forth between hotel rooms when their homesickness became too much for them to handle on their own. It still happened, sometimes, to be fair. They’re almost five years older now and they have different ways to handle the homesickness (some more healthy then others) but occasionally the only thing that would cure the homesickness, the missing of their moms and a home cooked meal, was another warm body in bed curled up with yours. 

This was different. If not because they’re engaged now, the ring sitting hard on his hand, but then because he’s in love with Zayn now. Living with him for almost five years has taught him all his quirks that he tried to hide when he was younger. He knows that Zayn prefers coffee to tea in the morning, something they used to fight about, and he knows the best way to wake him up is to throw him into the shower. He knows that Zayn hogs the covers at night and that he only smokes the cheapest brand of cigarettes which always make him snore at night. 

Louis wishes he could say it makes him love him less but it really doesn’t. 

When Zayn shifts on the bed he smiles before turning his attention out the window so he wouldn’t be caught creepily watching him sleep.

“It’s no use, Lou.” Zayn’s voice is deep and throaty, a little rough from his sleep. “I could feel you watching me.” When he stretches the blankets fall off his shoulder and Louis has to control himself from pinning him down. “Kind of creepy that,” he continues, “a guy might get the wrong idea.”

Louis forces a laugh, reaching over to twist a nipple, laughing for real when Zayn yells. “But you’re my prince charming, Zayn.” He says, referring to the name many of the tabloids have given him. “You’ve come into mine and my daughter’s life and swept us off our feet.” He pretends to swoon, collapsing on top of Zayn who groans.

“Get off me, you lug.” 

“Never!”

From there it became a wrestling match (which ended up with a hotel room vase knocked over, the alarm clock broken and both of them being yelled at by management but it was totally worth it.)

*********

Since pretending to get with Zayn the best part of the day is waking up with Zayn’s arm wrapped around his middle, Elisha squished around his head. He knows that he has extra guest bedrooms that Zayn could sleep in but he’d rather have him in his bed, selfish maybe but true. 

Sometimes though, he wakes up to Zayn’s morning erection against his ass. He does his best to ignore it but sometimes... sometimes he has to get up and get himself off in the bathroom before Zayn wakes up, thoughts of his dark tattoos under his tongue and how it would feel to have his hands tangled in Zayn’s dark hair. Usually by the time he’s came he shakes those thoughts off, washes his hands and crawls back in bed with the two loves of his life. 

Sometimes it’s harder and nothing can get it out of his mind. On those mornings he puts on sweats and wakes up Liam, demanding he go for a run with him. The pavement beneath his feet, the burn in his legs and lungs a welcome distraction from the things he doesn’t want to think about. 

********

They’re in Australia still, doing promo for their new single which means loads of interviews, which Louis both loves and hates. They’ve have four planned so far today, plus the one they’re in right now. 

Elisha had whined a little about being woken up so early, and Louis would have loved to have joined her. He knows she’s with Caroline and Brooklyn off screen, probably sleeping. He smiles to himself, she really is her papa’s daughter. He turns his attention to the interviewer when she opens her mouth. 

“So,” Louis can’t be bothered to remember her name. She’s blonde, her smile shows a little too much teeth to be genuine and she’s eyeing him and Zayn like they’re prey. He already doesn’t like her. “We’re joined this morning by One Direction! They’re here to talk about relationships, their single and maybe even their world tour.”

Harry beams at her, seemingly unconcerned about the tension between everyone else. “We are so pleased to be here.” 

“Now boys, what can you tell us about Four?”

Liam sits up straighter with a proud grin. “Me and Tommo wrote a lot of the songs this time around.” He beams. “We wrote in on about six of them, I think.”

She nods. “And your single, Steal My Girl, is it about anyone in particular? Maybe a special girl in your life, Liam?” 

He clears his throat awkwardly, only the media training he’s been given keeping him from looking at the other four for help. “No, no special woman for me. Or guy. I’m content to be the single on in the group. A lot of my time at the moment is spent on writing and helping out Louis. It also gives me more time to spoil my goddaughter.” 

Her smile became sharper. “Ah yes, little Catherine. If you haven’t seen her yet,” a picture of her from the beach showed up on the screen behind her, “she is the most adorable thing in the world. We’re not sure who she looks more like,” she adds, a picture of Louis at the same age appearing and then one of Anastasia beside it. 

Louis’ more then a little pissed, hands tight in his lap, that they showed pictures of his child without his consent. Pictures of Anastasia without his consent. He’s not mad about the picture of him, they’re in their book most of their fans have seen it but. He knows he’s famous, way too famous to get away with not having his picture taken, and that Paps don’t have to ask but still. This was a trusted news source, surely they should know better. 

“I think she looks like Louis.” Niall cuts in, obviously seeing how pissed he is. “It was a surprise when we found out that the little girl he adopted was biologically his but when we looked at her real good we saw Louis in her more then not.”

Harry nodded in agreement. “It’s a little weird having a tiny Louis around.” He mused. “She’ll say something or do something and I have to keep myself from listening to her, she’s so much like Louis.” He laughs. “But it’s funny. The more time she spends with Zayn the more like him she becomes too.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes, his cheeks turning red. 

“Now Louis,” she says, “we hear your daughter is taken with Zayn.”

Zayn laughs, running a hand through his hair. “She’s got me wrapped around her finger, she has.” He admits. “Like the others say she’s a mini Louis, how can you not love her? She’s got a ton of sass but she’s the sweetest little thing and has a huge heart, just like her daddy.” He intertwined his fingers with Louis’ and gave them a gentle squeeze. 

“We’ve heard that congratulations are in order.” A camera man steps up and zooms in on the ring on Louis’ hand, shining from it’s place between his own finger and Zayn’s. “It seemed kind of sudden to most of the world. How long have you been dating?”

Louis leans against Zayn’s shoulder, feeling a little tense. They had never really talked about a cover story or what to say when asked awkward interview questions. 

Zayn beat him to answering it. “Well it started about a year and a half ago, you know? I think we’d been in America. Perrie and I had broken up a few months before and I hadn’t told anyone ‘cept Liam. It was just a normal day, like, we got up and went to get breakfast and Louis was being a twat.”

“Hey!”

“But like suddenly I heard him laughing and when I turned to look at him I just saw him differently. He was like the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, still is.

“I mean we all had a crush on him in the X Factor days, right guys?” There’s a murmur of agreement from Niall and Harry that makes him grin, “But like we’d both been in charge of things and eventually it went away. It was just like we put him on this pedestal and when we saw the real him the crush went away.”

“But it hasn’t gone away this time?” she asks, leaning foreword. 

“Nah. I know how bad his feet smells and that he doesn’t do the washing up for days or his own shopping. He’d and Elisha starve if it wasn’t for me. But like I wouldn’t trade him for anything.”

“Aw babe, I wouldn’t trade you either!” Louis says, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. 

“And the proposal? Did you feel it coming, Louis? Or was it a total surprise?” 

“Honestly, I think we both knew it was going to come sooner or later or that we’d break up, remain friends but go our separate ways. We’ve been serious for about nine months now, you know? Like we’d talked about marriage before and stuff but it was still a surprise when he dropped on his knee at the beach. That I didn’t see coming.”

“And have you decided what you’re going to do now? Are you going to stay Tomlinson?”

He rolls his eyes. “We’ve been engaged two weeks and that’s all our moms are talking about. We’ve decided on hyphenating our last names so we’ll be Malik Tomlinson. We didn’t want Elisha to feel alone when Zayn adopts her.”

“So you are adopting her, Zayn?”

“Yeah. I was honored when Louis asked, to be honest. I know how much he loves her and to be trusted with something, someone, who depends on you for so much is a gift. I’m ready to be her papa for the rest of her life.”

“And are there any more little Malik Tomlinson’s in the plans, boys?” 

All five of them gave her a side eye. “Uh, if you’re asking if either of us have any more secret children then the answer is no.” Harry says with a cough. “One baby direction is enough for now, don’t you think?”

“So you have no plans on making her a big sister?” She presses. 

“Not at the moment.” Louis says with a sigh. “She’s just came to England, her mom’s just died. We’re taking her on a world wide tour with a bunch of people she doesn’t know. Zayn and I aren’t married yet and don’t plan to be for another nine months or more. So to answer your question, no. There are no plans on adding to the family.” He gives her a tight smile. “Next question please.”

The truth of the matter is he wouldn’t mind having kids with Zayn. Fizzy, sweet Fizzy, has offered to carry any future kids for him when he finds a partner to settle down with and he wants that. He wants a baby that will be half his DNA and half Zayn’s. He knows, honestly he does, that it will never happen, that he’s just setting himself up for heart break but he can’t help it. 

He tunes out the rest of the interview, and plays with the ring on his hand instead, Zayn’s hand still tight in his. 

Part two: Midnight 

They should have seen it coming. 

The interview was aired all over the world so they really should have seen it coming. The fact that they didn’t showed just how unprepared they really are.

Truth of the matter was Louis hadn’t had a chance to talk to the boys about the choice to leave the mob. Everything’s been a little crazy with the proposal and introducing Elisha to everyone on the crew and Zayn’s family that it just slipped his mind. Just like the fact that the Russians wanted both him and Zayn dead slipped his mind. 

When he woke up the morning before their first concert to see Zayn wasn’t in bed with him he was a little concerned. Zayn didn’t get up before noon if he could help it, but he shrugged it off and told himself that Zayn probably had gone out into the city with security to tour or something, maybe he was already downstairs eating breakfast. 

He got himself dressed, didn’t bother with his hair, and pulled on some vans before going to the room next door to wake up Elisha. 

He found her bed empty. 

Now he was more concerned, but not panicking yet. He convinced himself that Zayn had probably woken up, seen that Elisha was already awake and took them both else where so Louis could sleep a little while longer. He nodded, it sounded responsible and like something Zayn would do. 

He took the elevator down to the floor below and knocked on Liam’s door, where they all usually gathered to have breakfast in the mornings. When Liam answered he was still in his underwear. Louis pushed past him and found Harry and Niall curled up on the bed eating pancakes. 

“Where are they?” 

“Where are who, exactly?” Harry asks. 

“Zayn and Elisha! I woke up and they’re gone! Zayn didn’t leave a note or anything so I assumed they came down here.”

Liam shook his head, looking concerned. “I haven’t seen either of them since last night, Lou. Have you tried calling him?”

“No.” He pulls out his phone and calls Zayn’s number from memory, too inpatient to try to find him in his contacts. It rang twice before going to voicemail. ‘This is Zayn Malik please leave your message after the beep unless you’re a pap then you can fucking fuck off.’

“No answer.” He says before turning his attention back to the phone. “Zayn, I’m starting to worry. Please call me back as soon as you get this. Uh let me know you and Elisha are alright, yeah? I promise I won’t even be mad if you snuck out without security.”

Liam tried to smile at him, though he looked tense. “Well they probably went out to the city to do some sightseeing or something. Maybe Zayn forgot to charge his phone and we can yell at him when he returns. Sit down and eat a pancake, yeah? There’s no use worrying yet.”

Louis sat down with a sigh, picking up a plate of pancakes and taking an angry bite out of the top one. “He better have fucking snuck out without security.” He says. “If he went off and did something dangerous with Elisha I’m going to have his hide.”

Niall smacks him upset the head, his own plate empty. “Shut the fuck up, Lou. I know you’re worried but Zee loves her as much as you do. She’s his daughter as much as yours, right now. So calm the fuck down and relax. Eat your fucking pancakes and we’ll go talk to security when you’re done.”

**************

When Zayn wakes up it was to the feeling of Elisha shaking his shoulder sobbing “Papa” over and over again. He’s half tempted to tell her to go wake up Louis instead, so he can sleep a little while longer when it dawns on him. She’s sobbing in a way he’s never heard before, something is wrong. Seriously seriously wrong. He sits up, blinking off sleep and pulls her into his lap, looking around himself confused. 

“What’s the matter, jaan?” He asks her.

“I want Daddy and he won’t come!” She’s red in the face, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead and cheeks. He thinks she must have been crying for a while, trying to get him to wake up for a while, and is worried about her dehydrating. 

“I’m sorry babe.” He soothes her, running a hand over her head. “I’m sure he’ll come when he can.” He feels her nod against his shoulder. Patting her back to try to calm her down he sternly says, “I need you to stop crying, okay? You are going to make yourself sick.”

“Yes papa.” She sobs out, hiccuping. He doesn’t yell at her because he knows she really is trying. He decides to give her a few minutes to calm down before trying to talk to her.

He kisses the top of her head before turning to look around them. His heart sinks. They’re not in the hotel room, he’s not sure where they are. It looks like a bedroom, sure, but there’s no window and from where he’s sitting he can tell the door has at least four locks on it, no doubt to keep them in. The corner they’re closest to has a bed, which has a teddy bear on it so he stands up and walks Elisha over there before sitting her down and offering it to her, turning his attention to the rest of the room. The corner farthest from them has a shower, a mirror and a toilet. The floor is concrete with a few black rugs thrown over them. He spies a pile of toys and some books in another corner. 

His heart sinks again. This isn’t good. It’s not good at all. 

He doesn’t want to assume things, maybe Louis had them put in here for their protection?, but its starting to feel a lot like they’ve been taken. And taken is not good. Taken means another Andrea situation. Taken means Louis freaking out. Taken means.... He shakes his head, begging those thoughts to go away. 

“Do you know how we got here, love?” he asks her, praying she’s calm enough now. 

She hesitantly nods her head. “Mean men came and took up this morning. They thought I was sleeping but I woke up when they put us in the car.” She snuggles in closer to his chest, her thumb making it’s way towards her mouth. 

“No, no baby don’t do that.” He pulls it away and wraps her hands in his. “We don’t know who’s been here, darling. I don’t want you to get sick.”

She nods. “Yucky germs.”

“Thats right, smart girl.” He praises her. “Now did these men say anything?”

She hesitates, thinking about it. “They talked in Russian.” She says finally. “I don’t think they speak that here. Daddy said so.” 

He tries his best to smile at her but knows it’s weak. “Yeah, they don’t speak Russian here, love. You really are a brave little girl. Can I put you on the bed?”

She nods, her small fingers plucking at the ear of the teddy bear, she gets off his lap and sits on the bed beside him. She watches, curious, as he stands and pats his pockets down, front and back, and pulls out his cell phone. He beams, sitting down on the bed beside her he puts his passcode in then frowns when he sees he has WiFi but doesn’t have cell service. 

“Should we try calling Daddy?” He asks her, desperately trying to keep himself calm for her. She crawls back into his lap and nods watching with wide eyes as he hits the Facetime button and clicks on Louis name. 

It tries to connect. It rings two or three times and then it just crashes. He frowns at it before trying again. And then a third time. 

“Well love it looks like Daddy is busy.” He says, trying not to show how frustrated he is. It’s honestly not her fault that nothing is going right today and no matter how upset he is he refuses to take it out on her. 

She pouts, putting the teddy bear close to her face. “I don’t like it when Daddy is busy.” She mumbles. 

“I know love, I don’t either.” He forces himself to smile at her. “But Papa is here! We can have so much fun together, can’t we? Just you and me. And if you don’t tell Daddy I won’t make you take a nap today.” He says, trying to get a smile from her. “Hell maybe I’ll even let you stay up past your bedtime.”

She giggles and presses a kiss to his neck where her head is hiding. “I won’t tell,” she promises, snuggling in closer. 

“I know you won’t love. I know you won’t.” He closes his eyes and prays, desperately hoping that Louis will get here in time to save them.

***********

It’s been nine days since Louis has seen his daughter and Zayn. 

Nine. Days. 

They’ve had to cancel the tour. No one is commenting on it, vaguely saying that Zayn has gotten seriously sick and is being treated by a doctor until he is well enough to perform but they all know sooner or later the truth will come out. Sooner or later someone will say something they shouldn’t have and the fans will explode. There will be riots and the police will step in and put their noses in places they don’t belong. 

Everyone is walking on eggshells around him. He’s angry all the time, yelled at Lux and Brooklyn and refuses to talk to anyone outside of Liam. One two separate occasions this week Liam has put him over his knee and made him stand in the corner until he calmed down enough to talk to everyone reasonably. He’s still angry all the time, still refuses to talk to anyone outside of Liam but he’s not threatening to shoot everyone anymore. 

Niall and Harry wish they could do something for him, Liam knows it. Even the people they hired to help with this tour do. They all want to help him but no one is sure how. They’ve offered to bring his mom in but he doesn’t want that. He wants his daughter and Zayn. He wants someone to promise him that they’ll be back.

But they can’t promise him that they’ll bring back Zayn and Elisha and he knows it. Everyone in the know knows it. 

Josh, the only one who kind of knows what it feels like, sits with him sometimes. Neither one will say anything but when Josh gets up to leave Louis feels a little better. He knows that Josh doesn’t blame him for what happened to Andrea, that no one blames him for Zayn and Elisha being kidnapped, so he does his best not to blame himself. 

It’s on the seventy fifth day when there’s some chatter on the grape vine. Niall is the one to tell him. 

“We think we’ve found them, Lou.” He says softly, his hand a hard weight on Louis’ shoulder. 

(He’s lost a lot of weight, Louis has, his cheeks hallow enough you could drink out of them if you wanted to. Louis knows there are rumors about him doing drugs, that he has an eating disorder and he wants to laugh in the tabloids face. If only they knew. If only.) 

He nods at Niall, letting him know he heard him. He clears his throat, worn out from not talking a lot recently. “Uhm.” He closes his eyes, trying to make himself focus. “Let Liam know.” It takes him a long time to gather his thoughts now. “Let Liam know and I’ll tell the others.”

Niall nods. “He knows bro. We’re going to go in. We’re going to get them back for you.” He promises. “They’re going to come home to you tonight, if it’s the last thing I do.”

Louis wishes he could believe him but he’s stopped believing in everything the moment they disappeared. 

***********

When they come to the warehouse the place is on fire. The heat from it is enough that Louis pulls on his hoodie, desperately wishing he could pull some clothes off even as he’s snapping his attention to those around him. He knows this is going to be bad, he can feel it in his bones. 

Someone is going to die tonight and he hopes it neither of his.  
**********

In the end he has to make the most heart breaking decision of his life, Zayn throwing Elisha into his arms, multiple bullet holes in his side. “Take her and go!” He demands, eyes dull with pain. 

He crumbles on the ground, hand held tight where he’s bleeding out and demands again. “Take her and go, Louis! Take her and don’t look back!”

Louis opens his mouth to argue, to let him know he’ll be back for him, but the roof starts to crumble around them. Elisha lets out a startled cry and Louis knows, he knows in that moment as he turns to run, looking over his shoulder at Zayn one more time, that it’s the last time he’s going to see him. 

**********

Tonight Fox news has gathered information about Zayn Malik’ of One Direction’s disappearance. He along with Tomlinson’s daughter are said to have been taken from their hotel room over three months ago. We are learning tonight that they had been being kept in some kind of building that caught fire. Emergency crews arrived to the scene as soon as they could. At this time only Tomlinson’s daughter seems to have made it out of the fire, no word on Malik’s where bouts or condition. We will update you as soon as we learn more.

Part three: Dawn

Louis takes Elisha back to London the next day. 

One Direction officially announce an end to their tour before it even begins. They wait to make a statement until Louis is home with his mom and Zayn’s family then they gently break the news of Zayn’s death. 

Louis refuses to watch the news, knowing it will be the same video of the burning video over and over again. He’d stay in bed if he could get away with it but, as Mrs Malik- mom points out he has a daughter. He has to keep living for her. 

He goes days without showering, without leaving his London home. He refuses to let Elisha out of his sight, even when Liam begs him. Elisha has become clingly, going days asking for her papa and then days without speaking. In the past that might have concerned him but now he welcomes the silence. 

His hair grows long as the days go on, his beard getting out of control. He knows depression is setting in, he can feel it deep within his bones and he’s powerless to stop it. The light of his life was gone and all that remained was Elisha, and it hurt to look at her and see what could have been. 

On top of that Lottie, when she comes around, has been acting really shady. He can’t find it within himself to care but he makes note to ask about it later. 

Weeks go on like this, only getting out of bed when Trisha drags him. His own mom has gone home at this point but Trisha determinedly stays with them, all but moves in to make sure her granddaughter gets the best care. She forces Louis out of the house and into therapy threatening to skin him alive if he doesn’t go. She cooks and cleans and rids the house of all alcohol and weed, gives Louis a bedtime of all things and makes him meet up with Liam to start writing music again. 

Eventually, he knows, they’re going to have to go on tour again. 

He knows, realistically, the whole world can’t stop just for him and his grief. He knows that everyone’s life has kept going and his should too. He knows it when the two month anniversary comes and goes. 

When he wakes up one day to a warm body in his bed, spooned up behind him he rolls over, prepared to yell at whoever broke into his house. He’s expecting Liam, maybe Niall even.

Instead he comes face to face with Zayn. 

He blinks, sitting up slowly. Louis’ mostly sure he’s dreaming, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s dreamed Zayn in bed with him in the past few months. 

“Hey babe.” Zayn smiles at him, reaching out a hand to scrub at the hair on Louis’ face. “Long time no see.”

With a gasp Louis sits out, his tears spilling over, his hand reaching out to touch Zayn. He knows he’s trembling, can feel it in his bones. When he makes contact with skin he pinches himself. 

“You’re not dreaming Lou.” Zayn tells him, his smile going crooked. When Louis doesn’t stop crying he grows concerned, pulling him into his arms. “It’s okay babe,” he coos, “I’m here now, I won’t leave you alone again.” 

Louis shakes his head, clutching at Zayn’s shirt in a move so much like Elisha that Zayn’s heart hurts. He’s shuddering, shaking with the force of his sobs. He’s reminded of the days he spent with Elisha in their prison, of how she cried for Louis and that’s a comparison he never wanted to make. 

Finally, after what feels like hours, Louis pulls himself together and pulls away. He brushes his cheeks, taking the tear stains away like he’s embarrassed. “Fuck. I’m really not dreaming you?”

Zayn laughs, “No babe, you’re really not dreaming me.” He hesitates for a moment, then leans down and presses a kiss to Louis’ forehead, then his cheek. Gathering Louis’ wrists in his hands he lowered Louis until he was laying on the bed, hands pinned above his head. “Do you think you’re dreaming this?” 

With a whimper Louis shakes his head, eyes slipping closed. “I thought, for months, Zayn, for fucking months, I thought you dead.” He whines, pressing up into the hands holding him down. “Do you know what that was like?”

Zayn laughs, and it’s not a pleasant sound. “Do you know what it’s like knowing you thought I was dead and having no way to tell you different?” He nips at Louis’ jaw, then his throat, moving his way down. “Do you know what it was like watching you carry our daughter out of that burning building not knowing if she was going to be okay?” He smiles and brushes away the tears that fall from Louis’ eyes. “But as much as I’d like to have reunion sex with you there’s something you should know.”

Louis frees his hands and brushes the rest of his tears from his face, becoming the serious mob boss Zayn knows and loves. “What? What is it?”   “It’s Lottie. All of it is Lottie.”

to be continued.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr! [here](iliveinlouisass.tumblr.com/)


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